Jokes can get lost in translation even among those who speak the same language.

What would you do if you accidentally offended a close friend who spoke in ASL? And more so, how would you handle your other friends not letting it go?

One girl recently sought wisdom on Reddit over this exact problem. Here’s what went down.

AITA for using a disabled person for my “own benefit”?

So I (18F) took ASL lessons in HS, but up until now I’ve never had a Deaf friend.

This year I started college, and there’s a Deaf person in my class.

He uses an interpreter during lessons.

Everyone has been nice to him, but no one really tried to get to know him or actually befriend him, so he wasn’t very close with anyone.

This seems to be an unfortunate pattern in these types of situations.

I’m not judging them for that, had I not already taken ASL in high school, I probably wouldn’t have learned just for him either.

But after I told him I knew some ASL and started signing with him, we naturally got close.

Since September, I’ve been signing with him almost daily, and my signing has gotten sooooooo much better!

Sounds like a win-win if the friend is ok with it!

Anyway, about week ago, he suggested that I start taking ASL lessons again, and I joked “that’s what you’re for!”

It was absolutely a joke, like i laughed right after as I signed it, but maybe because my signing was off (idk) he took it seriously and got offended.

I apologized and explained it was just a joke.

Yikes, I’m sure they were well-meaning, but that was rough.

He said he understood and even apologized for getting upset in the first place.

He acted a bit distant for a couple days more but eventually got over it, and we’re completely fine now.

But today, one of my other friends told me that he said he noticed Nolan and I had been a bit distant lately, and asked if everything was alright.

A little bit of an invasive question.

I told him we had a little fight, “but don’t worry we’re completely fine now”.

But for some reason, he wouldn’t let it go!

First he made jokes like “there’s some truth in every joke” which I laughed off, but then he said something like “I knew you wouldn’t hang with a guy like him for no reason”.

Sounds like there may be an ulterior motive on the friend’s part.

I was like, Excuse me?

I told him that was such a rude thing to say, and he said it was the truth.

I called him out for being a bigot asshole, and an ableist, which i guess got under his skin.

No way that could have gone over well.

He snapped back at me, and said I’m not one to talk, and that I’m worse than him.

He said I’m: “taking advantage of a disabled guy” and “using him for my own benefit.” AITA?

Oof. This one is pretty messy. Let’s see how Redditors chimed in.

Some chided the original poster.

Others had less nuance.

One person was more sympathetic.

Another called out the friend’s behavior.

Though ultimately the discourse ended on a positive note.

He forgave her, but everyone isn’t going to forget.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.