Two Medical School Students Are Really Close Friends And Move To Another Country Together, But Now One Friend Is Growing Distant

Jayne Elliott

34 minutes ago

Shutterstock/Reddit

Imagine moving to a new country with your best friend to study together, share an apartment, and pursue your career. What would you do if your friend suddenly grew distant and started keeping big things secrets from you?

Would you be upset, talk it out, or move out?

In this story, one woman is in this exact situation, and she ends up moving out. She isn’t sure if that was the right decision.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for leaving my best friend alone in a new country?

I (28 F) moved out to another country with my bff (28 F) on this January.

We are both MD and after we finished medical school we decided to move out to another country because the situation in our country is not good, specially for doctors, and we wanted to join a good residency and become specialists.

My friend didn’t have many savings, so I paid for housing and most of the things the first month while we were finding a job.

After a month my friend and I were hired in the same job, but I had to quit due to medical problems after a few weeks. My friend had to stay because she couldn’t afford living without a job for more time.

They got another job.

We eventually found another job in a better company (not medical) and I started to date a local guy who I knew from a long time before.

My friend had a boyfriend in our birth country and they had a long distance relationship.

My friend and I coexisted in the same room for 6 months in a student house and the original plan was to move out to an appartment together.

I thought everything was going swimmingly.

Her friend distanced herself for some reason.

But my friend slowly was becoming distant and I didn’t understand why.

She used to come back from work and didn’t want to say a word, she started to take calls with her family and our common friends always outside the room we shared, she used to tell me stories about the workplace we shared for a short time, she named this guy from work constantly but slowly she stopped doing that and when I asked she became defensive.

In the last months I started to have problems with the landlady and they reached to a point where I didn’t even want to go cooking or leave the room because it was a shared kitchen and there were cameras everywhere in that house.

My friend, in the other hand, became friends with the landlady and seemed to be happy sharing her day with her.

This is odd!

We were both trying to get out medical degrees validated in this new country and as I had more information about the process I shared everything I knew with my friend.

But one day I noted she was studying for something, I asked with curiosity and she didn’t answer, but kept studying.

I later found out she was doing some course to get more job opportunities and didn’t want to share it with me, but she did with the landlady.

She found out there were other things her friend was hiding from her.

As things with the landlady were getting worse, I started to tell my friend it was a good idea to move out to an apartment, but she always dodged the subject.

One day I asked if there was something going on with the work guy and she told me yes.

That was crazy because she was in a relationship with her bf that was also my friend. The same week, she ended things with her bf and told me this new guy offered her to move out together.

I asked her what would happen with me and she just ignored me.

She finally moved out.

I decided to move out with my bf who lives in another city 3 hours away and had to leave my job.

I lost contact with my friend, but as I know, she still lives in the same student house.

I wonder why the friend grew distant? I think OP did the right thing by moving out. For whatever reason, their friendship wasn’t what it used to be, and she needed to prioritize herself.

Let’s see what Reddit thinks of this situation.

She really didn’t abandon her.