Birthday parties require clear boundaries, even for small children.

The following story involves a woman who planned a “paint and sip” party for her daughter and her daughter’s friend.

Both girls made it clear that they don’t want the friend’s younger sibling to join them.

So she explained this to the girls’ mom, but she didn’t take it very well.

Let’s take a closer look!

AITA for refusing to let a younger sibling come?

My daughter turned 9 at the start of the month. She wanted to have a “paint and sip” party.

Basically, she and her friends would make crafts while they drink “dirty sodas.”

Dirty sodas are soda with creamer or fun non-alcoholic mix-ins.

I thought it was fun. I agreed she could invite seven girls, including a close friend of hers, “Brittany.”

Meet Brittany and her younger sister.

Brittany has been over our house several times.

Almost every time, Brittany has shown up with her younger 5-year-old sister.

I end up entertaining the 5-year-old, so the girls can play without her in their hair.

The mom has never asked if the little sister can come. She just shows up.

I once mentioned something to the mom, and she said culturally, it’s normal for them.

Both her daughter and Britanny expressed that they didn’t want the younger sister there.

I made it clear the little sister doesn’t play with the older girls.

She was fine with that. I don’t mind entertaining her, so I’ve let it go.

But my daughter made it clear she didn’t want the younger sister there.

Brittany also mentioned to me once that she wished her sister didn’t follow her everywhere.

So she told Britanny’s mom about the plan.

The issue with the party is that I won’t have time to entertain a younger child.

Before sending out the invitations, I called Brittany’s mom.

I explained that this invitation was just going to be for Brittany.

Her mom seemed offended. She said her youngest had to come.

I said I understood if her family did things differently.

But I reminded her that this invite was just for Brittany, so if she couldn’t come, let me know.

Britanny’s mom arrived with both girls.

Her mom later said Brittany would be there. She promised it would just be Brittany.

Come party time, Brittany’s mom arrives with both girls.

Both girls start walking in. I briefly distract the 5-year-old and compliment her outfit.

I then tell her mom what time the party will be over.

Mom is trying to nudge her youngest in.

I gently step in front and say warmly, “We’ll see you later.”

The younger sister wanted to join, but she told her the party was only for big girls.

The little girl looks up at me with big eyes and asks, “Can I play, too?”

I gently tell her, “This is for the big girls. I’m sure you’ll have fun with your mommy! See you later!”

I shut the door. The party was fun. The girls all slept over.

The next morning, Brittany gets picked up by her mom.

She learned that the younger sister had cried all night.

Once Brittany is in the car, her mom tells me that I was rude.

She says her youngest “cried all night.”

I said her youngest had to learn she wasn’t invited to everything.

I reminded her of our talk.

Now, the girls’s mom is calling her heartless.

Mom called me heartless. She said I don’t understand because I only have one child.

I pointed out that even if I had another, my children would learn they won’t always get invited.

This mom has trashed me to other moms.

Some were on my side. Others were on hers.

AITA?

Let’s read the responses of other people.

This person makes a valid point.

Here’s another honest opinion.

Poor Brittany, says this one.

Here’s some sound advice.

Finally, short and simple.

Sometimes, even young guests need to learn the hard lesson of being “not invited.”

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.