It’s a sad truth that we spend probably as much of our waking lives with our colleagues as we do with our loved ones.

And we don’t get to pick our colleagues, meaning that the chances are, we’re not going to love every one of them.

That was exactly the case for the employee in this story, who after six months in the role was getting to know her workplace and the people who worked alongside her.

And what she learned was that these people love an excuse to celebrate – sometimes even on work time.

But when she was invited to the next celebration, there was more than one reason why she didn’t take part.

The reality, however, was that she had very little choice.

Read on to find out why.

WIBTA if don’t attend my coworker’s baby shower?

I am a 22-year-old w0man, and I have been at my current job for just about six months.

One of my coworkers in my department is pregnant and leaving for maternity leave soon, and recently an email went out to the entire building inviting us to her baby shower.

The baby shower is during work hours and you must RSVP and pay $15 to attend (to subsidize the cost of the catering).

The catering is from a meat-heavy restaurant, and I’m a vegetarian so I wont eat regardless.

Let’s see how she’s feeling about this event.

While I work with this coworker every day, so there’s a lot of personal interaction, I’m not a huge fan of her personality-wise. I don’t have much common ground with her at all, and she’s just grating to me personally.

That isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with her, I just don’t think we mesh well at all.

But I feel as though, because the invite was sent to the entire company, there’s an RSVP to track who attends, and she’s in my department, that I’m being forced to attend – especially because it’s during the work day so I can’t, for example, say that I have plans.

My choosing not to attend will be noticeable, and she is the type who has gotten upset in the past when higher-ups haven’t attended events. Since this event is centered around HER, I know she’ll be even more butthurt if people don’t attend.

And the reasons that this woman feels forced to attend are continuing to mount up.

I’ve also, unfortunately, made a reputation for myself as someone that is very willing to participate.

For every potluck our department has had, I’ve participated. I sometimes bring homemade baked goods for my coworkers. I buy birthday cards for everyone to sign. I don’t know how to go about this.

Workplace baby showers are… not common. I’ve only ever seen these invite mass emails twice in the six months I’ve been here, and they’ve both been for retirement parties that follow the same structure (during work hours, pay to RSVP and get a meal, sit down and celebrate).

I also know that I’ll most likely be asked to chip in money for baby gifts from our department, and it just rubs me the wrong way altogether to plan this big event during the work day and then charge people to attend.

It almost feels like peer pressure? It’s during my work hours so there’s no excuse to not show up or opportunity to say that I have prior commitments.

All this has left her feeling extremely conflicted.

What do I do? Just bite the cost and attend to save face? Coincidentally plan a dentist appointment that day?

I also can’t use the excuse of ‘I’m too busy’ because all of us do the same work in my department, and nothing is an emergency. I just don’t know.

It also is hard because I’ve not been here that long, I’m the youngest person in my department by a couple years, and it’s just an uncomfortable situation.

Would I be wrong to skip the event? I don’t know if I am unreasonable for feeling the way I do.

WIBTA?

She’s right, it sucks that this event – which they have to contribute money towards – is being held during the working day, effectively pressuring people into attending.

The catering isn’t going to suit this woman’s dietary requirements, and she doesn’t really like the woman being celebrated – but it’s understandable that she doesn’t want to stand out as the only person not attending either.

It’s a tough situation, it’s no wonder she’s feeling so conflicted about it all.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.

This person agreed that the situation really sucked.

But others encouraged her to go, with her reputation at work in mind.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged her to see the money as an investment.

Let’s be real, unless she does manage to summon up a dentist’s appointment, she’s likely going to have to attend the baby shower.

Her reputation at work is an important thing to maintain, and if nothing else, the $15 is a payment toward not working for an hour or so and eating cake.

But that doesn’t change the fact that this situation is completely unfair to everyone involved.

This is peer pressure at its worst.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.