Imagine having a parent suddenly pass away. Besides grieving, you also have to deal with a lot of expenses and logistics.

If you did all of the work planning the funeral and paying for everything, would you want to keep your late parent’s ashes, or would you be willing to share them with your siblings?

In this story, one woman is in this exact situation, and she doesn’t want to share.

Let’s read the whole story.

AITA for not wanting to share my mom’s ashes with my siblings after they contributed nothing to her funeral?

My mom recently passed away unexpectedly. I’m 28F, the 4th of her 6 kids.

She had no will, no money, and no arrangements. She had been living with my oldest brother “Tom” (36M).

While we were all in the ER (except two siblings who live out of state), Tom said he would “cover everything.” His girlfriend is the one who financially supports him, so she essentially would be the one paying.

I offered to split the cost because in opinion that isn’t fair.

The clock was ticking.

The hospital told us we had 24 to 48 hours to decide where to send her.

Over the next two days, I found the cremation place, contacted them, arranged everything, set up a GoFundMe, and my husband even pulled from his 401k because we live paycheck to paycheck and didn’t know if Tom would follow through.

The total was over $2k, so that’s a huge deal for us.

A few days ago the funeral home requested payment, so I paid it.

But she assumed Tom would pay her back for half.

Afterwards I called Tom for his half, and he told me he’d “get back to me.”

Hours later I called again and he blew me off. He hasn’t responded since.

I’m not shocked, but it still hurts.

Then there’s my oldest sister “Christina” (42F). She’s financially stable, but her son (23M) recently got arrested and she’s been paying his lawyer fees. I intentionally didn’t ask her to contribute because I didn’t want to add to her stress.

Thanksgiving only made the situation worse.

During Thanksgiving, when people were talking about how much she’s been helping her son, someone joked that you’d think he’d at least be appreciative since she chose to help him instead of helping with our mom’s cremation.

Christina laughed and said, “I’ve given that [woman] enough over the years, she’s not getting a single thing out of me anymore.”

Back to the main subject.

Both Tom and Christina expect “their” share of our mom’s ashes. But neither of them helped call funeral homes, make arrangements, pay for the costs, or even helped share the GoFundMe.

She isn’t sure what’s fair.

I feel incredibly hurt.

I feel like as older siblings they should’ve stepped up, yet my husband and I ended up doing everything.

So… AITA for not wanting to share the ashes with them?

If she paid, I think she can keep the ashes.

Let’s see how Reddit reacted to this story.

Here’s the opinion of someone who can relate to this situation.

Another person thinks it doesn’t matter who pays.

Here’s another vote for sharing the ashes.

Maybe all the kids could share the cost.

What’s right is more important than what’s fair.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.