It’s hard to know where the line is when someone you care about is grieving and still making complicated choices.

So, what would you do if a friend who’d recently gone through a heartbreaking loss made it clear she needed connection, yet changed course the moment someone new showed interest and left you wondering where you actually fit in her life?

Would you stay quiet or speak up?

In the following story, one woman finds herself in this situation and regrets saying something.

Here’s her story.

AITA for telling my friend I was hurt that she cancelled our birthday plans for a guy right after her mom died?

I (34F) have a friend “Lina” (37F) who tends to get attached to men very fast. I care about her, but I sometimes struggle with how much she centers dating.

A month ago, she invited me to spend her birthday together, just us two (her birthday was 4 weeks away).

Two weeks later, her mom was hospitalized, and she cancelled some plans we had made that weekend. Totally understandable.

Her friend was very busy following her mother’s passing.

The next day, she told me she’d gone on a date with a guy visiting from Portugal. It felt odd timing-wise, but I didn’t say anything.

The day after that, her mom passed away. She immediately flew home for the funeral.

Over the next two weeks, she told me she was exhausted but looking forward to coming back, reconnecting, and celebrating her birthday with me as planned.

Then, she cancelled again.

Then yesterday she told me that the Portugal guy wanted to visit again, and the only day he was available was… her birthday. So she was going to spend it with him instead.

I told her (very calmly) that I was disappointed she was cancelling our plans for a guy, especially after saying she needed support and a hug.

She apologized and invited me to hang out with them both, but I said I’d feel weird third-wheeling a date. I offered to see her on Friday instead.

She didn’t reply. Now I’m worried I misjudged the moment and should’ve been more flexible, given her grief.

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see why she feels so hurt, but maybe the timing of saying it was off.

Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit feel about how she handled this.

This person offers advice.

For this reader, it may be time to move on.

Here’s someone who thinks everyone has that one friend.

Yet another person who has a friend like this.

She did the right thing.

Any true friend would speak up because they don’t want their friend to make bad choices at such a vulnerable time.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.