A 16-year-old autistic student relies on routine and familiar textures to get through school.

When her mom replaces her uniform shirts without warning (buying ones that are oversized, uncomfortable, and button differently), it triggers intense sensory distress on the first day back, spiraling into a full meltdown before school.

Read on for the story.

AITA for telling my mum she’s being selfish?

I, 16F have autism and am in a school that requires me to wear a uniform, including a shirt. For the new year, my mum, 56F decided to buy me new shirts because she felt my current ones had gone too thin.

This was not a problem for me until the first day back at school (today) when i discovered that the new shirts were absolutely massive on me, like they were bigger than a nightshirt and were so long they were barely above my knees.

They also had buttons on the opposite side of the shirt than i was used to. This really stressed me out because i cannot stand the texture of the shirts on my legs.

Fair.

I went to my dad, 55M, crying that i didnt like how the shirt felt and how i was struggling to button it up as my mum had already left for work.

My dad kept on telling me i was acting like a child and that he couldn’t treat me with sympathy for doing so. This sent me into a meltdown and i could not stop screaming and crying.

I tried finishing off getting ready for school but got even more overwhelmed when my shirt was longer than my skirt.

Oh boy.

I tried to find one of the old shirts and luckily, i did, so i wore that instead but in the process i accidentally tore the new shirt as i was really struggling to get it off.

Eventually, i finished getting ready for school but i couldn’t stop crying and my makeup was completely ruined. My dad found me brushing my hair and told me that i wasnt in the right mindframe to go into school.

I tried telling him i had to go in because i have mocks in literally two weeks but he told me to stay home and relax, and he called the school to let them know that i wasnt coming in.

Built-in mental health day!

At around 6pm, my Mum came home from work and was already in a mood from the second i opened the door.

She asked me if i had calmed down yet and before i could answer her she started screaming at me saying stuff like ‘You refused to go into school because I bought the wrong shirts, had a meltdown and now i’m the bad one’.

I tried to explain to her that at no point had i blamed her at all, but she cut me off again and said ‘I try to do something nice for you and this is the thanks i get’ and she then carried on to say ‘Nobody ever sees anything from my perspective’.

Wow Mom, who needs to relax now?

That last statement hurt really badly because i feel like i really do try to understand her.

But when she’s not even letting me explain myself, not even thinking about how upset i’ve been and getting angry when her autistic daughter shows autistic symptoms, i feel like she’s the one not seeing things from my perspective.

I got really angry and told her that she’s being selfish about all this and making herself the victim in this situation when i’ve been crying about it all day.

Let her have it.

I’m worried that i’m just being an unreasonable teenager about this but this isnt the first instance that something like this has happened.

However, it’s the first time i’ve ever actually said anything back to her.

Now she wont speak to me is giving me the cold shoulder.

AITA?

Instead of being met with understanding, the teen is told she’s acting childish, forced to stay home despite wanting to attend, and later confronted by her mother, who frames the entire situation as a personal attack on herself.

When the teen finally pushes back and calls out her mom for centering her own feelings while dismissing her autistic needs, she’s met with silence and the cold shoulder.

This person says the parents are acting unreasonable.

This person says they should’ve been able to try the shirts on well before school.

And this person can relate.

When a parent treats an autistic meltdown as disrespect instead of distress, it’s not the child who’s being selfish.

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.