When you have a child with a serious illness, you can expect that you will have some bills that you need to pay.

What would you do if, during that situation, your ex-husband kept asking you to give him money to help pay for his expenses, even though you couldn’t afford it?

That is what is happening to the mom in this story, and she paid for some things, but now feels bad for not paying for his car because it would mean missing her rent payment.

AITA For not sharing gifted funds

I (33F) am a single mother with 2 boys (10y/o & 5y/o).

This can make things difficult.

I have no one to help me at home. My exhusband apparently quit his job in August and he quit paying all his bills.

My oldest (“A”) was sent to St Jude on 11-19 (I rode with my ex & “A”, which was a 9 hr drive) and diagnosed with cancer on 12-1.

She is going to need all the money she can get to help cover expenses.

My friend started a gofundme on 11-20 to help relieve the financial burden I was about to go through.

My ex (33M) lives with his gf, their son, and her entire immediate family (mother, brothers, sisters, in laws).

His bills are his problem.

My ex has made small comments about his bills- a car payment ($900/mo) & $300/m to his gf’s mom.

His girlfriend has messaged me, cussing & blaming me for their car being up for repo because I won’t share the money raised on the GFM to pay a car note that was already 4mo behind before “A” was even diagnosed.

Well, it makes sense that he wants to be with his kid.

His dad started a new job in Nov and quit when we came to Memphis.

I’ve told him I’ve got this, I’ve done everything else medically with “A” by myself, so he doesn’t need to stay here constantly.

This is a smart strategy.

When we first arrived at St Jude, I made a group msg & included his gf & my family, so I could do updates easier.

His girlfriend gets on the group msg saying something about their son being out of diapers & formula, & her not eating that day, was hinting that she needed help but wouldn’t ask.

Wait, why would she send money for her ex-husband’s new girlfriend’s kid?

So, I ordered the stuff she said she needed and had it delivered to her with my money from my last paycheck.

At Xmas, ex said gf & their son would be coming here, & he was upset that his son (1y/o) wouldn’t have Xmas presents, so I took some money from the GFM and bought all the kids presents.

I don’t at all understand why she is doing this.

I spent the same on all of them, then they didn’t show up, he took the presents and left for a week, leaving me with no car or anyway to get things that “A” needed.

On the GFM it also mentions that “A” loves being a big brother to his half brothers.

Why would they want this removed?

She has msgd (which I’ve ignored) and he has msgd demanding that I remove the part about A loving his little brothers on both mom and dads side.

I fully believe it’s suddenly (like yesterday) an issue that it says that because I won’t pay their car payment with the GFM.

Honestly, none of this matters. Just focus on your kid.

The girlfriend is pregnant, but she never has worked, but she could to help pay their bills.

I tried explaining that if they don’t pay their “rent” her mom wouldn’t kick them out and she’s okay with them paying when they get their taxes.

Yes, focus on your own bills.

If I don’t pay my rent, both A and my son won’t have a home to go back to when A is done with treatment.

We were homeless for a year a couple years ago and I refuse to go back to that.

Honestly, she is in the wrong for even thinking about paying for her ex’s stuff.

So, AITA for not using the funds from gofundme to pay my ex car note (car doesn’t benefit me or our son whatsoever) and rent?

I’m holding that money tightly and not wanting to spend any of it unless it pertains to my bills at home since I cant work while caring for my son.

AITA?

This seems like a very weird situation, but she needs to stop spending any of her own money on anything for her ex, it doesn’t even make sense.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this.

Yup, don’t spend another penny on them.

I think this could be illegal.

Exactly, people didn’t donate to support her ex.

I would feel the same way as this person.

This commenter is exactly right.

Why would she ever consider giving him a dime?

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.