Some men don’t realize the mental load women have to carry.

This woman was eating her breakfast when her boyfriend bombarded her with questions he could have easily answered himself. So she called him out for treating her like a secretary.

Read the full story below.

AITA for telling my boyfriend not to treat me like his secretary

This morning, as my boyfriend was getting ready to leave for work, he asked me a succession of questions (“Do you have a USB-C cable I can borrow?” “What am I cooking tonight?” “Do we have beef?” “Is it going to rain today?”).

This guy seems like he has too much on his mind…

He was in a rush, and I was having breakfast at the table, from where I could reach the under-counter fridge. After the “do we have beef” question, I just shrugged like I didn’t know and opened the fridge so he could see inside.

He went, “Okay, cool,” from across the table and then asked me about the weather. I said, “I don’t know, I’m not your Siri.”

Tense things get tenser…

He went, “I’m just asking you a question,” and I went, “You’ve asked me lots of questions,” and then something like, “People ask their mom or their secretary things like this.”

He got annoyed and said I was being weird, then left saying, “You’re just angry ’cause I asked you to turn off the light in the bedroom.”

We disagree over what counts as “wasteful” use of electricity. I don’t think having one small lamp in the other room lit so I can see where I’m going when I walk in there in twenty minutes is wasteful; he does.

This woman was unsure if she’d been too harsh on her boyfriend.

This was all sort of joking, but I could tell he was annoyed.

For context, we’ve been together over six years, we moved in together nine months ago, and we’ve spoken many times before about gender roles, division of labor, and partner expectations, including in couples therapy.

I know he has good intentions and that he was in a rush. I could’ve answered his questions and told him later to please check these things for himself and not leave the mental load up to me.

On the other hand, these are the moments where I feel it’s most productive to call out the dynamics I want to avoid.

AITA for being snarky and telling him in the moment?

There’s no better time to teach him a lesson than today.

Other people in the comments have something to say.

This one can relate to the story.

A valid point.

This one makes sense.

Here’s a good response.

And a solid observation from this user.

It’s much easier to Google the answers than ask an irritated woman.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.