It can be difficult to try to raise kids when you aren’t together with the other parent, since you don’t always have full control over what is happening.

What would you do if your ex got remarried, and now her new husband is demanding that your kids help babysit his?

That is what happened to the dad in this story, so he called him up and told him that they aren’t responsible for his kids, which made him mad, and now her ex’s husband is harassing him.

AITA for telling my ex’s new husband he’s a selfish fool for marrying a lazy part time mom and thinking he could use my kids to help with his own?

I (34m) have primary custody of my two children (11 and 13).

Things don’t always work out.

Their mom and I were high school sweethearts who had kids too young and while I stepped up, she didn’t.

With our first she made some attempts, kinda, but once she got pregnant for the second time she used pregnancy as an excuse to do nothing.

He thinks she was just being lazy.

She didn’t have a high risk pregnancy, wasn’t in pain and never expressed actual concerns for her or the baby’s health and safety.

But she’d say pregnant women shouldn’t be standing for too long, shouldn’t be near heat (to cook), shouldn’t be bending over to tidy up, shouldn’t be driving or pushing heavy shopping carts around, shouldn’t be pushing dust around, etc.

Wow, she is delusional.

My ex’s parents watched our oldest while I worked back then and she’d text me while at work to bring her snacks or magazines, etc. And she expected me to tell work bye and get her that stuff there and then.

I tried to stick it out and at the time I expressed concerns for maybe a pregnancy depression or some form of early PPD but scoffed at that and no medical provider saw concerns about it.

There is no excuse for this behavior.

When our second child was born she continued like she was still pregnant.

Even 2 and 3 months post partum she said she shouldn’t be holding things, lifting things, driving, etc.

He didn’t have much of a choice, it sounds like.

I finally had enough and we broke up when our youngest was 4.5 months old after I did all I could to try and find an excuse.

I just had to accept she was lazy and didn’t care enough to do anything. She wasn’t working either so I was doing it all and taking care of her.

She wouldn’t even put in the effort to keep her kids.

I filed for custody of our kids and won very quickly because she showed up in court unprepared and only fought against it half heartedly without retaining a lawyer for the custody case.

She couldn’t answer a single question about either of our children.

So, even the professionals agree that she is unfit.

Because she did request 50-50 they did a fitness check on her and she failed.

She didn’t fail enough to get no parenting time. But she was deemed unfit for 50-50 custody and so she gets every other weekend.

There is nothing they can do about it, for now.

And yes, that every other weekend is something the kids and I hate. But I have not been able to convince her to give up her weekends or convince a court to not force it.

So, she sees our kids that much and they basically take care of themselves over there. Which is documented and I have shown proof to the courts but it was not enough for removing her visitation rights.

This is pretty standard for family courts.

My kids need to be 16 before their voice holds any weight in the judge’s decision. Any younger and the judge will not listen to what the kids want.

Anyway, my ex has been remarried for I’m not sure how long. But within the last year.

Her husband’s kids are not this guy’s responsibility.

Her husband has two (or maybe three because there could be twins in there) very young children (younger than 4) and he expected my kids to be around more and to help.

I’m sure he expected more from my ex as well. But the kids said from the time they met him, which is when he moved in, he’s been asking for them to babysit and bond and help with childcare stuff.

This is not their job.

They refused to help and they ignore him and ignore the very young children.

But he even started asking for their help when they’re with me. When my kids showed me messages he had sent, I called him from my phone and I told him to leave my kids alone.

They are step-siblings.

He told me the kids have younger siblings and I stopped him and said neither my ex or myself had more kids so they don’t have younger siblings.

They have each other.

In a way, that is true.

He told me he married their mom which makes his kids their siblings.

He said older kids are meant to help with younger ones and he isn’t supposed to be doing all of this alone.

I mean, he isn’t wrong.

This is when I told him that he was a selfish fool and pointed out he married my ex, a lazy part time parent who doesn’t even deserve the title of parent because of how little she does, and spectacularly selfish for thinking my children existed to help him raise his kids.

I said you do not put that responsibility on kids. On anyone’s kids.

Good job standing up for your own kids.

But especially someone else’s because you do not have the right to have pre-conceived ideas of what someone else’s children owe you and yours.

He didn’t like that I insulted him and interfered in his marriage.

This is exactly right.

I told him he interfered in MY children and as their dad and their sole parenting parent I have every right to put my foot down about what he expects out of my kids.

Since then he has tried to call me multiple times and he texted me repeatedly.

This is smart.

And I don’t block him because I would much rather he contact me than my kids.

AITA?

Not at all, he is standing up for his kids and keeping them from being mistreated.

Let’s take a look at what some of the top commenters have to say about it.

Yup, don’t let him get away with it.

The new guy wants to be just as lazy as his wife.

Keeping records of this is very important.

Yes, dad is doing a great job.

Yup, it is not their job at all.

Where does this guy get his nerve?

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.