Throwing huge family celebrations over the holidays can be a lot of fun, and it’s a true honor to have your loved ones celebrating in your house.

But people don’t always talk about the negatives. Namely, the expense of it all, the time-consuming preparations, and cleaning up afterwards.

The woman in this story is fully aware of the effort that her friend’s parents go to in hosting Thanksgiving celebrations every year, and she’s so grateful to get an invite that she’s more than happy to help out.

But this year, things seem to have changed – and she’s the last to know.

Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for not paying for Thanksgiving groceries as a guest?

I am a 23-year-old woman, and this year I was invited by my best friend of a decade (25, female) to spend Thanksgiving at her house.

We are both recent college graduates, and she is working minimum wage jobs to save for grad school while I am in grad school but have tons of educational loans and no income.

So, I cannot easily afford unexpected expenses.

I have been to her house for Thanksgiving many times in the past and I often help her family with the shopping or cooking, since Thanksgiving prep can be hectic.

Let’s see how these occasions have been in previous years.

Last year, my friend and I offered to make the charcuterie board and salad for her parents so they could focus on the turkey, side dishes, and dessert.

Her parents paid for all the groceries, and my friend and I helped shop, cook and clean.

They complimented the salad and charcuterie board and thanked us for making them.

On multiple other occasions when I visited, I would help them with errands like getting groceries and even cooking meals, which they would pay for.

But this year was different.

This year, we did the same thing and told them we would help with the charcuterie board and salad.

But after Thanksgiving, her mom got really angry and went and told my friend that she assumed I was going to pay for the charcuterie board and salad, and she was surprised that I didn’t pay. My friend relayed this information to me.

I was shocked and caught off guard, but asked my friend what to do and whether we should pay. She said it was fine, but in the future we should only shop for the dishes her parents were cooking and nothing else.

I was okay with that, but then while my friend was sleeping, her mom cornered me in the house and started to chastise me about not paying for the groceries.

And this was about to get more confusing for the Thanksgiving guest.

She kept saying that I was not a kid anymore and should now contribute to the Thanksgiving potluck. But I was unaware that Thanksgiving was supposed to be a potluck, nobody told me that before.

I just noticed that when my friend’s aunt/uncle/cousin visited they would bring one dish.

I thought that was like a hostess gift, which I already had brought (a $40 box of fancy chocolate).

I thought I was a guest and was helping them shop and cook something that their daughter had okayed buying on their card, especially as they had it okayed last year.

Let’s see how she responded to the confrontation.

It was so awkward and I tried to pay her mom back, but she wouldn’t accept the money – however, she also wouldn’t stop chastising me. Her behavior felt really rude and inhospitable.

I feel very hurt that she called me out like that while my friend was sleeping, and then later again while my friend was present.

Nobody in her family said that they expected us to pay for the appetizer/salad this year. If they had done that, I would not have brought them such an expensive gift of chocolates.

I feel so uncomfortable going back to their house especially for Thanksgiving, because in my culture what her mom did is the rudest thing ever. If she had a problem, she should have talked to her own daughter who ultimately was the person swiping her card for the groceries we bought.

AITA?

It’s awful that this guest was put in such a difficult position over Thanksgiving weekend.

If the parameters had changed between last year and this year, that should have been made clear to her ahead of time.

As it is, she’s basically been accosted in secret and made to feel terrible about something she had no idea about.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person agreed that she was not to know that the rules had changed.

However, this Redditor thought that manners dictated she should have paid for the charcuterie ingredients.

But others thought she was the scapegoat for drama between mother and daughter.

Her gift and assistance with Thanksgiving preparations should definitely have been enough – especially as it has been in previous years.

Perhaps something has changed for her friend’s parents financially over the past year and her mom is more stressed about the financial implications of the event.

But if that’s the case, it should have been discussed beforehand. She shouldn’t have been confronted out of nowhere over the weekend.

It’s totally unfair.

If you liked that post, check out this post about a rude cusfacetomer who got exactly what they wanted in their pizza.