A woman with several conditions and physical limitations is at her breaking point over one specific cereal.

Her fiancé, also AuDHD and a stay-at-home parent, repeatedly leaves Fruity Pebbles scattered across furniture, floors, and even his beard, despite years of requests to clean up after himself.

The cereal is a safe food for both him and their child, but the constant mess is adding to her already overwhelming workload. Now she’s wondering if removing the cereal entirely makes her the bad guy.

AITAO if I stop buying Fruity Pebbles?

For context, my fiance (29m) and I(33f) are both diagnosed AuDHD, I have ARFID and don’t have a very large amount of foods I tolerate on a regular basis.

As for a bit of other random/sorta relevant background, we’ve been together for 15 years and lived together for 10 of those years.

He’s always been the one to try all the weird foods, but again, sometimes he gets on kicks where he just won’t eat enough.

Weird about food, got it.

Anyway, I’ve asked over and over, both politely and impolitely, admittedly, and he (mostly) always apologizes, agrees, and says that it is something he is working on.

But… he doesn’t clean it up or seemingly make any efforts to grab the vacuum and when he does try to clean it up, there’s still some cereal left behind.

Sometimes he also responds with “please stop getting on me so much” because he says I have tenancy to stack things I noticed need done and he says it overwhelms him.

Criticism on criticism.

He’s a SAHM father to our two children (3yo and 9mo old) and I work part time as a dog trainer. I love my job a lot, but if you wanna be successful at it, it requires you to be available on your off days for make up classes and constantly learning more through continued education.

I’m also in college though it is online only, but it’s still been so demanding for me and I’m not doing well due to how little time I feel I have to myself.

I also have a disability that makes physical labor and housework really hard on my body, so it’s a lot of extra work on my body to be working, parenting (also exclusively bf our son), cleaning, working the dogs, etc.

Woof (no pun intended).

Anyway, point of all this is that I’m debating just not buying fruity pebbles anymore because every time he eats them he gets them ALL OVER THE PLACE.

He slept with a pile of them in his beard in his chair last night (our daughter still sleeps in bed with me and he started sleeping downstairs cuz of his back, she would kick him a lot cuz she’d face me and he’d get the wrath of her feet).

When he grabs a handful from the box they fall all over like snowflakes.

Gross.

We do have 3 dogs. They all used to clean them up after him. They no longer do, they’ll eat larger amounts, but if they’re scattered? Naw. They couldn’t care less.

The other issue though is that they are also one of my safe foods and my daughter loves them too. And it would suck to have to not buy something we love, too.

But I’m frankly just tired of cleaning it up and I don’t want our kids to do what he’s doing too and triple the cleaning load. I’m usually the one who buys our food (I don’t drive, but we order delivery).

No kidding.

But it is also a safe food for him and something he will eat even if there’s nothing else, and I care about him and want him to eat and take care of himself.

But again, this just feels like way too much work.

Soooo anyway, would I be the a****** if I just stop buying fruity pebbles to solve this? Or is there another way? 😮‍💨

With kids watching and mimicking behavior, limited energy, and no follow-through despite repeated conversations, she’s questioning whether setting a firm boundary is the only way left to protect her health and sanity.

This person has a whole plan.

This person has another suggestion.

And this person is kinda grossed out by it all.

At some point, it stops being about cereal and starts being about who’s expected to keep cleaning up after it.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.