Family support can slowly turn into a complicated obligation.

In this story, a woman had been helping her younger brother financially while he looked for a job.

When he refused a job that was offered to him, things shifted, and she decided not to offer monetary assistance.

Read the full story below for all the details.

AITA for changing the way I help my sibling after realizing it was holding him back?

I (30F) have a younger brother, Mark (25M).

After he graduated college, he struggled to find a stable job.

So I started helping him out financially.

This woman generously helped her brother.

At first, it was small things like covering a phone bill.

I helped with rent once or twice. Over time, it became regular.

I didn’t mind because I love him.

And I’m in a comfortable position.

He got offered a job, but he refused to take it.

Recently, Mark was offered a decent job in another city.

It wasn’t his dream job, but the pay was good.

It could cover his bills with some change left to save up. It also had growth potential.

He turned it down. He said it was not up to his lifestyle.

He asked for her help again, but this time, she declined.

After that, he asked me to help him with rent again.

This time, I refused, though not completely.

I told him I wouldn’t keep giving him money with no plan.

I said I would help in other ways, like networking or covering his moving costs if he took a job.

I also offered help with a short-term emergency.

He got upset and started blaming her.

He got angry. He said I was refusing to support him when he needed it most.

He said I was acting like I don’t care.

Some family members agree with him.

They said that since I helped before, I shouldn’t stop now.

Others say I’ve done more than enough already.

Now, she’s wondering if her decision was wrong.

I still care about my brother deeply.

I started to feel like my help was enabling him to stay stuck.

It felt like it was keeping him from moving forward.

AITA for changing how I support my sibling even though he feels abandoned by it?

Let’s read the responses of other people to this story.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

This one makes a valid point.

You learned a hard lesson here, says this one.

Finally, here’s a lesson we can all learn from.

It’s easier to help someone who agrees to help themselves.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.