If you tell someone you don’t like something, they generally won’t force it on you, but some people still will.

So, what would you do if you explicitly asked for a low-key birthday, but later found out that your sister had planned a huge surprise party and even invited your ex?

Would you attend out of respect for your sister? Or would you be furious and skip it altogether?

In the following story, one woman finds herself facing this dilemma and decides to shut her phone off and skip it.

Here’s what happened.

AITA for skipping my own surprise birthday party once I found out it wasn’t really for me?

I have never been big on birthdays. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate them, I just prefer something low-key, such as dinner with my closest friends, maybe watch a film, something small basically.

Everyone close to me knows this, especially my sister (let’s call her Maya), who loves big gestures and believes every birthday or achievement needs balloons, a theme, and much, much more.

Two weeks before my birthday, Maya started acting strange. She kept asking me if I’d be “free that Saturday” and acted weirdly when I asked why. I suspected that she was up to something, so I told her AGAIN that I didn’t want a party. She just laughed and said that, as per usual, I was being no fun.

Upset, she called Maya for answers.

A couple of nights ago (the night before my birthday), one of our mutual friends let it slip about it being a party, and she mentioned what she was wearing. Anyway, turns out the whole family was invited, and it was at our parents’ house. Some co-workers were also invited, but here’s the kicker – MY EX.

My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. It ended pretty badly, no abuse or cheating, but it wasn’t a pleasant ending. I’ve made it pretty clear to everyone in my life that I want NO contact. Maya knows this.

However, she’s told me multiple times that I should just get over the whole situation because he’s a nice guy and that he’s been a part of all our lives for years.

The first thing that I did was call Maya, demanding answers, and she didn’t deny it. She just said that we could finally talk it all out. She admitted that she hadn’t just thrown this party for my birthday but also so everyone could see my ex again, and we could fix things between us. She literally told me I’d thank her later.

They couldn’t reach her on her birthday.

I went mad, I told her, she had no right. That I would have been ambushed into the situation, on MY birthday. And this was all after I had specifically said that I didn’t want a party.

She just said that I was dramatic and bloody ungrateful, that she had this whole thing planned because I wouldn’t find better, and it was a good gift. She said everyone had gifts and travelled. Everyone was excited.

So yesterday, my birthday, I completely powered off my phone and didn’t let anyone know other than my best friend, so we went out for lunch and went on a walk together. Ended up having a great day.

Now, people are upset.

When I finally got home, I turned my phone on, and it was MENTAL. Maya was fuming, people were disappointed, and people even said I embarrassed Maya.

Maya is now basically saying that I ruined the whole party and made it all about me (it was literally my birthday).

She says she did it from a good place in her heart and that I should at least apologise for not showing up and for letting people know.

AITA?

Yikes! Looks like Maya didn’t expect that.

Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit feel about what she did.

Here’s a good point.

This person hopes her sister got the message.

They sure did.

The sister was totally rude! Next time, she should respect her sister’s boundaries and plan something she’d actually like.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.