Weddings often reveal which relationships are built on goodwill and which are held together by obligation.

So when a bride-to-be chose her bridal party based on support instead of shared DNA, her sister felt snubbed and was determined to make everything more dramatic than it needed to be.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for not choosing my sister to be a bridesmaid?

Earlier today, my sister got upset at me for not being chosen as a bridesmaid for my wedding next year because my fiancé (21M) chose my cousin (17M) to be a groomsmen.

The conversation started out with my sister asking why I did not choose her as a bridesmaid, which I don’t think I had actually told her yet since I just chose my bridesmaid a few weeks ago.

So the bride chose to be very honest about her gripes.

I was honest with her and explained that as far back as I remember, she has always been very back and forth between being an absolute jerk to me and being nice/acting like everything is fine, plus I gave her an example of this exact thing happening yesterday where she was rude over something she didn’t need to be in the morning and then acted like everything was fine later that day.

Her sister’s response was to start gaslighting her immediately.

Her response to that was that “sisters bicker and fight,” but it’s always been a lot more than just normal sibling conflict and that I was immature for making it such a big deal and bringing back up what happened yesterday.

I responded saying I don’t feel it’s immature to not ask someone who has been rude and a jerk to me a lot of my life to be a bridesmaid, especially given the severity at which that has happened, as well as the example was given so she could hopefully see where I was coming from.

After that, she just went off on a rant about “if it’s such a problem then why have you never brought it up before” (I have many times) and “I hope you get a lot of people asking why I’m not a bridesmaid,” and a few insults as well.

The bride feels like her sister is totally missing the point of what she’s trying to say.

We aren’t choosing people to be in the bridal party just because they are family; we are choosing people we genuinely want up there with us and we know will support us and be drama free.

My fiancé has brothers he’s not asking to be groomsmen because they have never gotten along very well, so she’s not the only sibling not being asked for the same reason.

The reason behind not asking her is just a lot more extreme.

AITA for not letting my sister be a bridesmaid?

 

What did Reddit make of all this?

This commenter points out the bride’s decision was more about keeping the peace than holding a grudge.

By throwing a fit, this sister is proving why she should be excluded in the first place.

The bride could have given her sister another lower-stakes job to save a little face.

On the other hand, this commenter did something similar and came to regret it.

If being in the wedding meant that much to her sister, maybe being kind the other 364 days a year would have helped.

Bridesmaids aren’t picked by bloodline, they’re picked by behavior.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.