It’s one thing to have help when you’re in labor, but it’s another thing to deal with the chaos that might come after.

What would you do if your mother-in-law expected to take your young children while you give birth, but her lack of discipline and a few other drawbacks made you nervous?

Would you still let her watch the kids to avoid hurting her feelings? Or would you find her another task?

In the following story, one expectant mom deals with this decision and is unsure what to do.

Here’s what’s going on.

WIBTA if I ask MIL to watch our dogs while I give birth, but not our kids?

I (34F) am due to have our third baby in the next few weeks.

My mother-in-law (72F) already assumes she’ll be taking our kids (4M & 3M) when I go into labor, and loves to brag about it.

Part of it is that she loves them, of course, but the other part is that she loves the attention and recognition of being ‘needed.’

Grandma doesn’t discipline the kids.

Aside from that, every time our kids are around her, it’s like they forget how to behave completely, and the following 1-2 days are nothing but tantrums.

She won’t discipline them at all, excuses bad behavior with things like “it’s probably just the weather,” and lets them do literally just whatever they want including way too much screen time – simply said, our kids ‘wear the pants’ when they’re with her.

The thought of navigating the first few days postpartum and newborn life at home with my older children in tantrum mode honestly just stresses me out.

She’s also worried about her MIL’s age and the unprotected pool.

Not only that, but she lives 45 minutes away, is a terrible driver, and has an unfenced pool in her yard.

I’m worried about having her come to pick them up and bring them back to her house, knowing that, and not watching them closely enough to keep them safe from the pool.

She’s also in her 70s and doesn’t move very quickly, but at the same time, we already live an hour away from the hospital, so to bring them to her, move car seats over, and then go to L&D would take 2 hours minimum anyway.

There are other options, but she doesn’t like those either.

It would also be an option for her to come to our home and stay with them here.

But to be honest, it just stresses me out to think about coming home to have her not leave for hours, and the house being a wreck on top of it.

She never has them clean up, and as thoughtful as it is, she’ll do things like wash my dishes and then put them in the most random places and half the time on shelves I can’t even reach, and it takes me forever to find anything in my own kitchen.

She and her husband came up with an idea.

We’re leaning more on the side of having our kids stay with our best friends who live much closer, and they would have a blast with (without the tantrums to follow).

But if we did that, we would still ask MIL to take care of our dogs since I wouldn’t want to overask our friends for help, and MIL has watched them at her house before when we’ve gone out of town.

I’m not sure how to go about that conversation with MIL, though, in explaining why we don’t want her taking the kids for those days, and I’m worried she’ll be offended by asking to take the dogs but not her grandkids…

AITA?

Eek! They’ll have to be very careful with this.

Let’s check out what the people over at Reddit think about who should watch the kids.

This reader does not side with her.

What a great idea!

For this person, the MIL will definitely be offended.

Yet another reader who thinks her MIL will be offended either way.

She needs a new plan.

It’s not fair to ask her MIL to watch the dogs, especially if she wants to watch the grandkids, too.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.