When you’re paying for a certain level of care, there’s nothing wrong with expecting just that.

So, what would you do if the group home responsible for your disabled sibling repeatedly ignored parts of his care plan and failed to take him to important medical appointments? Would you keep confronting them politely? Or would you finally escalate the issue to a manager and demand accountability?

In the following story, one sister pushes back when she finds herself in this exact situation. Here’s what happened.

AITA for being rude to middle management over my brother?

I (37F) am the guardian of my autistic brother (35M). Two years ago, we (my husband and I) discovered that my stepmother was neglecting him. He was grotesquely overweight, had psoriasis untreated all over his body, broken teeth, the works.

We filed for custody and got it.

We took care of him in our home for a year (got him injections for his psoriasis, lots of dental work, and put him on a regular exercise routine he loved), but suffered horrific caregiver burnout, and with the help of the state, put him in a group home about five minutes from my house.

This is the second home he’s been in.

He is my favorite brother, and after learning what happened to him, I’m very protective of him.

His first group home was terribly neglectful as well, and he ended up getting COVID, wasn’t being taken care of, etc. We didn’t cause a scene, just quietly moved him. We moved him to a new one that promised us the moon and the stars for him.

So. It hasn’t been great.

She has many issues with the home.

Firstly, we discovered through his therapist that he hasn’t been taken to his psoriasis injections, even though we made those appointments for the group home, so it came back with a vengeance, covering his head and face.

They haven’t taken him to a dentist, despite the fact that he still needs work done and it’s in his Personal Care Plan.

Some of the people working in the house refused to get vaccinated but still walk around without masks on, increasing his risk of getting sick.

And, just because I’m mad about everything, they haven’t paid his therapist bill (they requested to be his rep payee for his SSI, so that would be their responsibility) and have asked to go to a cheaper therapist rather than pay it.

At first, she tried to be gentle.

They also refuse to buy him his favorite drink (kombucha) and to get his hair cut at a barber, insisting he have it cut by a member of staff, even though I have told them he prefers the barber experience.

There are sinks and drawers that don’t work in the house, and I don’t understand why they won’t fix them.

I gave them gentle pushes to get their act together, but after the incident with the psoriasis, I lost my mind at them, demanded to speak to the Executive Director, and threatened my lawyer unless they took better care of my brother. He cannot advocate for himself.

They said she’s being unreasonable.

They told me I was asking for a level of excellence that was unreasonable. I told them I could pull him from that home and sue them at any time.

Now, I may be wrong because these are underpaid people in a thankless job. I am a rich white lady.

At the same time, I just want to protect my brother. It seems like the other people living in this apartment have been abandoned by their families, and I refuse to do that.

AITA?

Wow! That place sounds like a joke.

Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit feel about the way the group home is treating her brother.

This person offers a suggestion.

Harsh words for such places.

For this person, the home has too much control.

Here’s someone who thinks they are only half bad.

She needs to report them and find a new home for her brother ASAP.

She may even be best off looking into home health care.

If you liked this post, check out this story about an employee who got revenge on a co-worker who kept grading their work suspiciously low.