When one parent wants to take a child to see family out of the country, it can be hard for the kid to want to go since they would miss their friends while gone.

In this story, dad was trying to convince the daughter to go with her mother to see the family for a funeral, but the daughter didn’t want to since she didn’t know the family well, and wanted to stay home.

Dad then told her that if she goes, she can make her mom buy her all sorts of expensive things and that it is ok to just use the trip to get money from her, but he has now been told that that was a very bad thing to say.

AITA for telling my daughter it’s okay to use her mother for money?

So, I used to be married to Judy (36f) and we have a daughter Scarlet (13) together – fake names.

This is something to discuss before getting married.

Judy never wanted kids but I did and I assumed she did too. We had her and Judy completely changed, she wasn’t caring toward Scarlet, they didn’t bond and she blamed Scarlet for us losing our independence.

About a year after, we had a divorce and she gave me everything. It did hurt me that she didn’t even want to see Scarlet once a year even.

Wow, she REALLY didn’t want kids.

She moved to Seattle months after, started running a business, got really fit, her cousin told me she even got laser surgery to remove her stretch marks.

Since then, Judy has moved to LA and divides her time between there, London, Mumbai and NYC. She has become a fairly famous influencer and socialite.

She is very successful.

I check her Instagram every now and then and she’s been at parties with celebrities all over the world and truly seems happy.

To her credit, every time her financial situation changed, she would come back and get our child support agreement changed to give more to Scarlet.

Well, that is good I suppose.

Every time she’d come, she would spend time with Scarlet. She even kept it the same even though my new wife makes a lot more money than both of us and we don’t need it now.

About three years ago, she started calling more to talk to Scarlet. She would also come over more and every spring break, she comes for those two weeks.

It sounds like she is growing up and realizing that being a mom isn’t all bad.

She phones every night unless she’s in London, Mumbai or NYC – in which case she just sends a text.

On New Years, she was at some celebrity’s party but still took the time to phone. Now, I’m not saying that this makes up for anything but she has been a presence in Scarlet’s life.

This is heartbreaking.

Well, we just found out that Judy’s grandfather is very ill and he’s going to pass away within a month, maybe early March at best.

So, she’s going to India for spring break for his funeral and has requested to take Scarlet with her. I’m fine with that, my wife is fine with that.

Does Scarlet even know her grandparents?

However, Scarlet got really upset at the idea of spending two weeks in India. I pointed out her mom will take her to all the nice places, she’ll get to see great things, meet that part of her family.

But she said that it’s not fair. So, I pointed out that at the very least, she can get whatever she wants out of her mom in those two weeks.

Yeah, that wasn’t a cool thing to say.

My wife overheard and said I was a jerk for telling Scarlet that it’s all right for her to use her mom for cash since she has barely been in her life.

I pointed out I didn’t say that but we argued and since then, I realize what I said kind of did amount to that.

AITA?

Yes, he definitely shouldn’t have said that, and it was an AH thing to do, but it sounds like overall he is a great father and hopefully he can just put this behind him.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

I agree, taking advantage of people is always a bad idea.

Here is someone who says not to push her to go.

Yeah, this is a bad message.

This person says not to push her to go.

It is totally fine to encourage her to go on the trip.

He shouldn’t have said that, even if he wanted to encourage her to go.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.