When you have a good friend who has a mental illness, it can include dealing with some difficult situations.

What would you do if your friend had borderline personality disorder, and she would often treat you very badly while having difficult times?

That is what the friend in this story is dealing with, and she doesn’t want to keep being mistreated, even if it is because of a mental illness.

AITA for ignoring my borderline friend

We’re best friends since 7 years and we had our ups and downs, but most of our conflicts were related to her borderline personality disorder.

Mental illness can make friendships very difficult.

In the beginning it wasn’t much of a drama, because it wasn’t that bad and I was able to handle her tantrums pretty well, even though it was always about the smallest things.

For example, I told her that the woman in the supermarket has a beautiful dress or because of mistaken assumptions.

Her symptoms are getting worse.

But then it got worse each year and even to a point where I wasn’t feeling like I can say anything anymore.

On top of that she sometimes became mean in general and told me I shouldn’t make a fuss.

This seems more immature than mental illness.

For example when she wanted to go try out a game at a party and I said I wasn’t interested in joining, but I would like to watch.

She declined joining one of the teams and only replied with a petty “nope” when I wanted to involve her in anything or asked her a normal question (but she still insisted to be near me the whole time).

I can see how this would be annoying.

Or she occasionally loved to mimic me when she was on edge and always had an excuse for it to do so.

The last time she started an argument again over nothing I ignored her completely.

She isn’t obligated to stay friends with someone who acts like this.

I know that people with bpd have a massive anxiety about being abandoned, but it came to a point, where I simply can not do this anymore.

I don’t want to be blamed for something I didn’t do or say and have to take responsibility, just because her head told her a whole other story.

Her mental illness is hers to live with.

Even though there are proofs she is in the wrong.

The only way to end this cycle is ‘admitting’ to the truth in her head and deeply apologize for it (almost begging for forgiveness).

This would make it very hard to cut her off entirely.

She’s not always like that and actually a very good friend (aside from the things she sometimes does or say due to her bpd), but I suffer from burnout and I am simply not able to take such a behavior anymore.

Especially if there is no effort from the other person to do at least a little bit better.

This is not healthy or sustainable.

She says she doesn’t need therapy, but takes all emotions out on me and declares it to be a regular argument.

I don’t want to be her emotional trashcan to this extent.

AITA?

Not at all, she needs to do what is in her own best interests. And if the friend isn’t getting therapy, I wonder if she is actually diagnosed or if she just claims she has BPD?

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

This commenter says to talk to her about it before backing off.

Her mental illness is her own to deal with.

This person had a relationship with someone who had BPD.

She needs to put in some strict boundaries.

If she won’t get help, things will never get better.

Don’t sacrifice your own mental health for a friend who isn’t working on theirs.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.