Being the youngest sibling by a decade comes with its own set of challenges, and being treated like you don’t exist is one of them.

When a young man who had spent years being excluded by his siblings, insulted at family events, and ignored by brothers who didn’t even know his age finally said out loud that his siblings didn’t seem to like him, his mother scolded him for being too negative.

Suddenly, he felt like all his pain was completely dismissed.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for saying that my siblings don’t like me?

I (23M) have three siblings: Jane (38F), Bo (35M), and Ty (33M). They all share the same father, while I am from my mother’s second marriage, hence the big age gaps.

He describes his current relationship with Jane.

Jane and I have always got along well. We share a similar humour and have always been decently close.

She has two kids who are only 3 and 5 years younger than me, so we were raised more as cousins than uncle/niece/nephew.

I love spending time with her and her family.

But he still feels a bit excluded by her.

But many times she has made plans — like holidays and dinners with my other siblings — and has never included me, despite taking all of their kids and partners on some of these trips.

I’ll admit financially I wouldn’t always have been able to go, but there are a decent few that I would have been able to go on. I just never got the invite.

Jane always seems uncomfortable when he confronts her about it.

Whenever I’d mention it to Jane, either in a joking or serious way, she’d always either brush me off or change the subject completely.

Now onto Bo.

Bo and I were very close when I was small. He’d often babysit me when my parents were out, or play with me when he got home from long shifts. He’d also normally be the only one to remember my birthday and any of my genuine interests.

But as I got older and became a teenager, he suddenly completely changed and would only ever really speak to me to insult me or mock me — but then would randomly buy me a comic he knew I liked.

Then in adulthood, their relationship changed even more.

As I became an adult it was basically no contact whatsoever. He moved countries and I basically didn’t speak to him again until five years later at his wedding, and still it was mainly insults or degrading comments, some even including telling me to harm myself.

If he visits now he’ll barely acknowledge my existence, without ever telling me why.

He also has a 6-year-old son who I adore, and I often have to jump through hoops just to see him for a few hours when he’s visiting, despite him being here for a week.

Now Ty.

Then finally, with Ty, we never had a relationship from the start.

He barely acknowledged me as a child, and as a teen and adult he essentially has short conversations with me that are normally always about something specific in that moment. He doesn’t really care much for my existence.

Then they started working together.

He gave me a job a few years ago in his bar (which I worked incredibly hard at), but having him as a boss mainly involved being insulted or screamed at in front of clients over minor mistakes, with obviously no apology after.

He knows absolutely nothing about me except that I live with my partner and have a dog and a lot of tattoos — not even my age.

Now onto the main conflict.

So after all that, the big moment happened the other day when I was painting my mum’s living room for her. We started talking about the siblings, and my mum mentioned how I should speak to my brothers more.

I said that I had tried many times to have a relationship with them, but they just don’t seem to like me for reasons I can’t understand.

His mother wasn’t happy at all that he said this.

She blew up at this, saying how could I say that, of course they like me, and that I was just being negative and seeing them “in a bad light.”

So he decided to be brutally honest.

I honestly just snapped and said, “Jane plans sibling trips that never involve me, Bo literally only speaks to me to insult me, and Ty literally doesn’t even know my age. On what planet do you treat people you like that way?”

Still his mom doesn’t get it.

Since then, she’s decided that I’m just against my siblings and want to bad-mouth them.

So I guess I’m now wondering if maybe I’ve just got an odd image of family in my head and maybe I am just being overly sensitive.

AITA?

Seems like many parents just want their kids to “play nice” without acknowledging the nuance.

What did Reddit think?

It’s possible his mother knew he was right but just couldn’t admit it.

Being technically family doesn’t guarantee closeness.

It’s also possible he’s looking at the past through a rose-colored lens.

The divorce likely has a lot more to do with this than anyone’s admitting.

He spent 23 years trying to fit into a family that never quite made room for him.

At the end of the day, if his siblings refuse to accept him, maybe he’s better off without them.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.