Defending a cheater is a bold choice, but defending one to your own wife is just plain foolish.

When a man decided to take his friend’s side after the friend’s wife started acting out following a years-old infidelity, he made his opinion very clear — and his wife made hers equally clear right back.

What he thought was loyalty to a friend turned out to be a wedge in his own marriage he hadn’t seen coming.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for siding with my friend after he cheated on his wife?

My (27M) friend (24M) and his wife have been married for 3 years and have two small babies.

Recently, another woman reached out to his wife to tell her that a few years back, while they were living in separate states (he was in the military), they slept together.

Of course, their relationship was never quite the same after this.

This has caused a great deal of havoc in their marriage and things have been super tense.

However, the wife has been extremely toxic lately, and although I understand she is hurt, she is taking advantage of this situation to get her way on everything.

The way he sees it, his friend’s wife is acting way out of turn.

Most recently, she basically guilt-tripped my friend into buying an expensive cat because, in her words, she “deserves it.”

They already have 5 other cats and two small babies, and not a lot of financial resources to add another expensive cat into the mix.

My buddy agreed as a way to keep the peace. He’s trying to save his marriage, but at what cost?

In his view, maybe the marriage isn’t worth saving.

She’s doing whatever she wants — leaving him with the kids to go out late, making him do extra work around the house even though he works a very physical job, and now the whole cat situation.

But his own wife views things very differently.

I told my wife the situation and how I think she’s being unreasonable, but my wife says that his wife is probably very hurt and isn’t dealing well with all the emotions that come from finding out he cheated.

He still thinks his friend deserves better than this.

As I said, I can empathize, but this is no excuse to treat my friend like dirt.

There’s a healthy and unhealthy way to deal with the situation, and she’s choosing the unhealthy way and causing more damage.

Now the conflict has found its way into their relationship.

My wife is now mad at me. She said she will take the wife’s side on everything and support her in whatever she needs.

He’s the one that messed up after all, and he needs to deal with the consequences of his actions. She says he should give her whatever she wants — but where do you even draw the line?

When will he stop paying for a mistake from years ago?

Now the two can’t agree on a path forward.

This has now created a rift between me and my wife, but I don’t think I’m the wrongdoer here for taking my friend’s side.

Look, I know what he did was awful, but two wrongs don’t make a right, and she’s just being spiteful and selfish — getting her way in everything she wants and guilting him into big decisions that will only hurt their family even more.

AITA?

Sometimes the most important relationship to protect is the one sitting right next to you.

What did Reddit think?

Friends support friends, but it doesn’t mean co-signing all their bad decisions.

This guy doesn’t seem to understand the severity of the betrayal.

He was 100% sending the wrong message to his wife.

His wife is right to question his morals after this.

He was trying to be a good friend but ended up just being a bad husband.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.