Parent Refused To Fund An Expensive Private College After Daughter Admitted She Hated School, So She Sparked A Family Debate Over Accountability

Benjamin Cottrell

4 weeks ago

Pexels/Reddit

Paying for college is one of the biggest investments a parent can make.

So when one parent’s youngest daughter, who openly hated school, announced she wanted to attend an expensive private college to follow her friends, it led to a serious debate over whether she was ready.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA For refusing to pay for my youngest daughter to attend college unless she goes to community college first and earns the grades to transfer?

My youngest daughter, Vivian, tells me that she hates school.

Vivian doesn’t have any issues with bullies and enjoys socializing with people.

She just fundamentally doesn’t enjoy the vibe of school.

But she hates waking up at 7:15, she hates listening to lectures in class, and she hates studying and homework, even for a subject that she’s interested in.

And there’s frankly NOTHING wrong with that.

She doesn’t need to be a perfect student who loves school and homework.

The point I am trying to emphasize is that Vivian does not like school.

So I was surprised when she came to me explaining that she wanted to apply to a private college.

Vivian didn’t seem to be in it for the right reasons.

Vivian told me that she wants to attend this particular college because her friend will be going there on a scholarship.

The college is also located near a major city, where some of Vivian’s other friends will be attending a different college but will still be in the area.

I looked into the costs of this private college.

That’s when this parent started getting really concerned.

The tuition is fairly affordable, but the “catch” is that students are required to live on campus for all four years, and the dorm costs are through the roof.

I explained to Vivian that I will pay off all of her student debt if she goes to a community college first and then earns the grades to transfer to the private college (or any number of other colleges, if she is no longer interested in the private college).

They draw a hard line against this, which Vivian finds extremely unfair.

But that I am not going to spend thousands of dollars when she’s shown me thus far that she isn’t emotionally committed to her studies and won’t treat her education seriously.

Vivian and multiple others have told me that I am being unfair with the community college offer because even though the cost of the private college is steep, I am still able to afford it.

They think back to the route their other children took.

And I offered to and paid for her siblings to go straight to four-year colleges.

I will pay for whatever college Vivian wants to attend if she agrees to attend community college and earn the grades to transfer.

(Her sister chose to take this route. And she said it was very beneficial in helping her transition from high school to a major college.)

But for Vivian, they feel a different approach is needed.

But Vivian tells me that she hates school, studying, and lectures, even if she’s interested in the subject.

College is school and includes all the things she hates about school.

They think they’re striking a fair balance, but are still unsure.

Vivian still has the option to prove she is emotionally ready for college by attending community college and earning the grades to transfer out.

But I am not going to spend thousands of dollars unless Vivian demonstrates that she is emotionally committed to her studies and will take her education seriously.

AITA for this?

If the effort was there, this parent was happy to pay, but right now, it just wasn’t.

What did Reddit think?

Agreeing to Vivian’s demands would just be financially irresponsible.