Having support after a baby is born can make all the difference, especially in those first few weeks.

So, what would you do if someone close to you offered to help, but their past behavior made you question how reliable that support would actually be? Would you give them a chance anyway? Or would you just hire a professional you know you can count on?

In the following story, one mother-to-be finds herself facing this decision and chooses a nurse. Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for choosing a night nurse over my mom’s help after I give birth ?

I’m pregnant with my first baby and due later this year. My mom initially offered to help for 30 days postpartum, but I’ve decided to hire a night nurse instead.

This isn’t about one incident so much as it’s a long pattern. My mom has a history of emotional volatility and unreliability.

At my sister’s graduation and at events leading up to my wedding, she overdrank and became disruptive. A couple of years ago, she also became physically aggressive with me during an argument in public. She tends to minimize concerns and avoid accountability, and despite my asking, she hasn’t pursued therapy.

Her mother is having surgery shortly before her due date.

There have also been times when she’s committed to helping and backed out at the last minute. For example, when my dog had surgery, she promised to stay with her so I could attend my birthday dinner, then tried to cancel an hour before because she wanted to go out for drinks instead.

Recently, she chose to travel to South America for elective cosmetic surgery a few months before my due date.

When I voiced concern about possible complications and recovery time, especially since she’ll be taking significant time off from her in-person job, she told me she “can’t put her life on hold because I’m pregnant,” and that I’m “not sick.”

She’d rather have reliable care than someone who may or may not show up.

I only asked if she would consider delaying it until next year, not canceling it. She declined.

My husband and I can afford a night nurse, and I feel calmer knowing I have professional, neutral support rather than depending on someone who has historically been unpredictable. She’s welcome to meet the baby (we live in different states), but I’m not comfortable relying on her for extended help.

Some family members think I’m overreacting. I see this as responding to a pattern and protecting my family.

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see why she feels like that.

Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit feel about her decision.

This reader thinks a trained nurse is always a better option.

Here’s someone who wouldn’t let the mother around the baby.

According to this person, the night nurse is a good choice.

For this person, she needs to use her mother’s words to her relatives.

That’s an excellent call.

There’s no better help than that of a professional, plus her mother sounds very unreliable.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.