Family dynamics might shift over time, but some things don’t change, even when you hope they do.

In this situation, a woman let her brother stay with her and her daughter despite his history of being unhelpful and messy.

Now, she’s kicked him out after several issues and she isn’t sure if she did the right thing.

Let’s get into it…

AITA for kicking my brother out of my home?

My brother (41) and I (f, 47) have never been close. We can get along for short periods of time, but after a week, game over. We were raised very different.

I had 3 jobs my senior yr in HS, paid for my own college, etc. He on the other hand has always been coddled and saved despite losing job after job and spending his time gaming, dropping out of HS.

For the last 25yrs, we have lived many states apart.

I went off, got married, divorced and now have a fantastic 14yr old daughter who lives with me full time. He has been taken care of by my dad for most of that.

Sounds like they live very different lives.

About a year ago, he decided to change his life, get out of the gaming world and become part of society (not speaking bad about gamers, but he won’t leave his room for a week or more).

He got a job in my town that offered him a place to live but he had to stay with me for a week or two first. After 3 weeks, I had to make him leave and move into that apt.

I had given up my LR for him and his 2 cats. He was mad, left tobacco shavings all over, his cats peed on my couch and my rug and more but that’s enough. He never paid for the damage or to replace items.

Fast forward about 9 months later. Daughter and I take a weekend trip 4 hrs away to see some sights and museums.

I asked him if he would let my dogs out 3x over the course of 2 days. He made it 1x and I ended up driving home at 230 AM and wasting tickets to a museum.

Then he gets fired and now he needs a place to live and this is where i may be the AH.

I warned him, that my daughter has a major surgery in the near future and I can’t have him living here while she recovers. I was very clear it could be soon.

He was offered a job a month ago but he refused it as he was holding out for one he thought would be better. So for 2 months, he has gamed.

It’s always something with this guy…

Never once trying to make any money and letting our dad send him money (dad is a retired FF and construction…his body hurts and he is tired while brother is able bodied).

I cannot help him monetarily as i have big bills coming up and i will not go into debt for him.

Surgery was scheduled with less than a weeks notice and I told him, we get home on a Sunday, new job starts Monday, but you have to leave that Monday. No exceptions.

It was something I warned him of, a boundary. And before those say he can help me, he won’t.

He will game and continue to live for free while I will be at my limit taking care of my child. I feel he is a “grown man” and can figure it out.

My mental health needs to be on point to give my daughter the care and attention she needs while juggling all other household duties (again he won’t help and if he does, complains).

AITH for kicking him out again even if he doesn’t have a place lined up?

Let’s get into the comments.

This person thinks everyone is enabling this man.

Others questioned why she was even helping him at all.

This person suggests putting it all back on their dad.

While some think she’s in the wrong for even getting involved.

Some people won’t change unless you force them to.

It’s time for this guy to learn about the consequences of his actions!

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.