When you have a close friend whose birthday is coming up, it can be great to spend some extra money and get them something really nice if you are in the financial position to do so.

What would you do if you spent a lot of money on a friend the previous year, but now that her birthday is coming up again, she is expecting you to spend the same or more, and keeps making elaborate plans?

That is the situation that the young woman in this story finds her self, and she is worried that if she tells her friend to stop that it will hurt their relationship.

WIBTA if I asked my friend to stop making plans with my money?

I (23F) work a manager position in a food chain but don’t make much more than minimum wage.

She seems to be living a fairly normal life at this point.

I also pay all my own bills for the most part. Occasionally my Boyfriend would surprise me by offering to pay a bill or two for me every once in awhile.

He’s well off, but it’s not the expectation. I genuinely would never take him and his kindness for granted.

These little extras can be a lot of fun.

Consequently, there where times I had a little extra to splurge on outings with my best friend (22F). We’ll call my friend Rose

Last year I spoiled her on her birthday a bit. I saved up and was able to get her a nice handbag from MK and take her on a shopping spree.

This sounds like jealousy.

I noticed she was putting herself down before over how I looked like a “rich girl” now that I had a well off boyfriend. She was happy for me, but now felt self conscious next to me.

Rose still had a job at the time, but was also paying off debt, she wouldn’t dare get something nice for herself. Rose absolutely loved the gifts and was so happy. I was happy for her.

I probably spent $500-$600 for her birthday and thought nothing of it.

Finances go through ups and downs, that is normal.

This year I am more financially tight. Rose, however is now debt free and actually earning more than I am at the moment.

I am not in debt, but due to my current circumstances my living costs are higher than they where last year.

Very responsible.

My Boyfriend has offered to help. With the way Covid has been for all of us I’m not accepting his help unless I’d absolutely need it so that it’s no unnecessary stress on him.

Rose’s birthday is in December. Since my birthday in September, her birthday plans is probably all she’s really been talking about between casual conversation.

Ahh, she needs to make sure she is clear with her friend about this.

Rose’s plans are expensive: Most of which seem to be made assuming I’d pay for them. She wants to go to her favorite bar the night of her birthday, so she chooses a hotel and asked me to book it.

I booked it assuming we’d split the cost. She also wants to go to Boot Barn and get a new pair of boots casually saying that that could be my present to her.

Rose really shouldn’t be assuming she will be getting all of this.

On top of another MK bag & wallet for Christmas which came up in a different conversation. None of these things I really agreed to. All of these things have $$$ price points.

I let her know that money is tighter for me this year breaking down my financial plan for myself. She just “jokes” that my “Sugar Daddy” can pay my rent and I’d be fine but that she’d be willing to go half on the hotel if I want.

It is time for an uncomfortable conversation.

Which was a shock to me At this point I’m starting to feel like spoiling her last year has lead to her taking me and my finances for granted.

AITA?

No, but it sounds like they are close friends, so it is time that they have an open discussion about this and get it all out in the open so that there are no more misunderstandings.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

This commenter says she is being used.

Yup, this should be stopped.

Finances change, surely the friend will understand.

Hopefully she will understand.

This person says to shut her down now.

It is beyond time for a very frank conversation.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.