After years of tap classes that started as a sweet mommy-and-me hobby, a nearly-twelve-year-old admitted he felt stretched too thin and wanted something off his packed schedule. When asked what he’d drop, his answer was clear: dance.

His dad honored that choice and informed the studio, only to face pushback from the teacher. Meanwhile, his mom grew emotional, and the boy began second-guessing himself after sensing her disappointment.

What happened next? Read on for the story.

AITAH for taking my son out of dance class?

When our son was a toddler he and my wife did a mommy & me tapdancing class, and it was awesome. We still have the videos. She used to dance, and she wanted him to keep up with it, and he did for a while.

As he has gotten older he’s developed other hobbies, and school takes up more of his time. He also rarely does performances, because they usually conflict with our schedule. He mostly just does the classes.

He’s about to turn twelve, and he told us he feels overbooked with everything.

Uh oh.

At the same time, his teacher reached out to us about finding a way to have him at more performances, because it would be nice to have a boy doing the boy parts of some of the dances.

I talked to my wife about asking him if he wants to quit dance. She was really against it, but she said we can ask if he wants anything off the schedule.

We asked if there was anything he wasn’t 100% about, and he said dance. She was upset and asked if he wanted to give it another year and then decide. He said no, he needs the free time now.

Not the tap shoes!

I emailed the teacher saying we were leaving, and she called me. She said this was a huge mistake, that he had so much potential, and that we were throwing away so many opportunities.

My son doesn’t want to grow up to be a professional tap-dancer, so I’m not sure what opportunities he’s throwing away.

She also said all the girls love him and will be sad. Okay, and? What does that have to do with anything?

Oh brother.

She also called my wife, and I guess they had a very different conversation. My wife changed her mind, but I said it’s his decision, and we already told him he could quit, so it’s done.

I’ve since gotten calls from the dance teacher twice more. The first one, she accused me of being a bad father, so I hung up. The second I didn’t even answer.

My wife is sad. My son picked up on it and now is saying maybe he should go back to dance class.

Oh the little darling.

I said if he dances it should be for himself, not anyone else. He says he doesn’t know what he wants.

I’m not sure how I ended up being the bad guy here. I’ve got this teacher in my voicemail giving me a hard time, my wife is filling the house with melancholy sighs, and now my son is feeling guilty, and it’s all my fault.

I feel like an a******, even though I don’t actually think I did anything wrong.

Redditors debated whether supporting a kid’s wish to step back from an activity is good parenting…or if pulling him out so quickly created unnecessary pressure and regret.

This person says the teacher was SO out of line, and the wife is too.

This person says it’s never a good sign when extracurriculars are more about the adult than the kid.

And this person says Dad is the opposite of an AH…but everyone else is.

The real dance becomes managing their expectations.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.