Getting guilt-tripped at any phase in life is really frustrating, but it can be especially maddening when you’re an adult.

In the story below, a woman explained why she’s getting the third-degree about going to a bridal shower that would force her to cancel her vacation.

Get all the details below.

WIBTA for not going to my sister in law’s bridal shower because I’m on vacation?

“I’m very emotional about this situation so going to try to take the drama out of it and just give facts. Please give me your honest opinions!

Just found out my sister in law’s bridal shower is landing on the Saturday that I was planning on being away for a girl’s trip to Miami or Puerto Rico.

Will I be a jerk for not going to the shower?

Here’s the deal…

I’m not in the wedding party

I am definitely going to the wedding

I’m not super close with my brother. We’re cool, we love each other, but we are not present in each other’s day to day lives, and same with his fiance.

She really wants to go on this trip…

⁠I’m a 37F with 2 kids so getting a girls weekend trip sounds glorious. I don’t know the last time I went on a real vacation, and I already got the OK from my husband who is all for me going.

Nothing is booked for my trip yet BUT the dates are revolving around my best friend who’s a teacher and has limited PTO, and it’s sounding like the girls will be going on the trip with or without me.

The shower/trip weekend is 9 months away as of now, so no urgency at the moment to do anything at all.

Ugh…

I’m really worked up about this because my mom is guilt tripping me HARD about this. We don’t have a good relationship to begin with. She’s telling me that my brother and his fiance will be very hurt if I don’t go.

I think this isn’t all even about the shower or my trip, it’s about my family dynamics with my Mom. I’m a grown woman and she still treats me like a child and wants me to do what she wants me to do.

I think SHE is uncomfortable with the idea of me not being at the shower and is acting like it’s really about my brother and his fiance’s feelings.

I talked to my brother and he’s not giving me a straight answer as to if his feelings would be hurt or not, which is leading me to believe the answer is yes they would be hurt and yes I’m the jerk.”

Check out what folks had to say about this on Reddit.

This person offered some advice.

Another individual said she’s NTA.

This reader weighed in.

Another person said she’s NTA.

And this Reddit user spoke up.

She’s gonna upset someone, no matter what decision she makes.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.