Just weeks after giving birth, she’s already been navigating recovery, exhaustion, and the emotional weight of a newborn, largely without her husband by her side.

While she tried to be understanding of his need to spend time with his older son, things shifted when their newborn became sick and needed hospitalization.

Even then, he continued leaving to keep prior plans.

WIBTA if I ask my husband to prioritise our baby?

We have a baby (my first) under 2 months who became unwell and needed to stay in hospital, unfortunately on the day my husband had promised to spend quality time with his older son (11) that he shares custody with his ex.

He hadn’t had any one to one time with his older son since the birth of our child, which also happened to be during a holiday and a few days before he was going on a holiday with his mum for 2 weeks.

Despite struggling emotionally and physically after my CS I didn’t protest when he asked to go home to spend time with his older son before he went away with his mum.

How strong.

He didn’t even stay any of the nights after the birth until his older son was away (at this point both my parents and my sister was at ours and could watch over him). ​

I never told him how I felt abandoned in the worst time possible as I don’t want to build any resentment or divide in our family. I understand the need to love and care for both his children but I can’t help but feel this was not the time to make things equal.

Now that our baby is in the hospital I’m seeing the same pattern where he is still leaving me and our sick child to struggle because he didn’t keep a promise to his older son.

Woof.

Circumstances changed and I would understand if it was something less critical, but when it’s hospitalisation and constant holding /soothing a crying baby as well as no sleep and trying to breastfeed I would have thought he could understand the need to push that quality time for another day.

My parents were still at home and able to look after him, although language barriers means no real connection or play time. He spends most of the days gaming regardless, even before the baby was born.

I didn’t tell my husband how I felt this time either but I was so exhausted and emotional because it was 24 hours with 2hours broken sleep at most.

Anyone would be wrecked.

No sitting down, no lying down, rushing to the toilet or scarfing down some food with the unwell baby in my arms.

I’m starting to build resentment and want to confront him. Will I be the asshole for asking him to rearrange quality time with his older son when our baby and I are struggling?

Moreover it was a week of school holiday just 2 days after his promised one to one anyways where he could spend time with him.

Redditors weighed in on whether asking him to reschedule that time would be unfair…or simply a necessary conversation about support during a difficult time.

Most people said OP was being an AH.

Like, a little at least.

Lots of clear explanations on why…

Balancing two children is important, but when one is in the hospital, “equal time” might not mean equal priority.

If you liked this post, you might want to read this story about a teacher who taught the school’s administration a lesson after they made a sick kid take a final exam.