Nothing like thinking you’re finally nailing this whole “friendship” thing, only to realize you’ve apparently been failing a test no one told you you were taking.

This girl joined her friends on a college trip, expecting the usual: wandering stores, sticking together, normal group vibes. Instead? She’s getting speed-walked past, left behind mid-crosswalk in a massive city, and ignored while clearly struggling. Cute!

And just when she finally asks what’s going on… turns out there’s been a whole secret list of grievances. You know, the kind you’re just supposed to magically detect without anyone saying a word.

AITA for not picking up on my friends social cues/taking their advice?

Context: I had to edit this down a lot, im happy to answer questions about context. I wont put names or specific places for privacy. The three friends will be called B, K, and M. We had been friends for 3 years.

During the end of our senior year i noticed them all getting really distant. I asked B’s partner K if they were alright, and i was told that everything was good and it was just stress from our finals. Normally i would overthink this but i was finally coming out of my shell regarding socialization so i listened.

Our college hosts a trip to a major city to visit some animation studios/shop around/tour. Immediately off of the bus B, K, and M speedwalk into a big stationary/manga store. Most of the students were in there (i went to an art college, we are all nerds lmao). I lost track of them multiple times but eventually caught up.

All sounds copasetic so far.

I didnt talk to them about this beforehand. But as i said i was trying to do normal social things so i tried inviting myself along with them. We hung out after classes for hours. Ive been told its normal to just go with them when youre that close.

During the trip they were constantly leaving me behind, ignoring me, or rushing ahead. I have chronic pain so walking gets painful, ill add that K is also disabled with a cane. My face was on fire, i was drenched in sweat, my asthma was flaring, my feet and back were burning so bad i was almost crying. No one asked how i was. I asked them to slow down several times, but again i was ignored. There was no hurry either. We had to be at the studios at a certain time and we arrived half an hour early

At one point they left me behind when a crosswalk had changed. Not a SINGLE one of them even looked back or stopped. Im a woman, in the largest city on this coast and i was alone. I was terrified, i had no idea where we were or where we were going. I was convinced i was about to be lost.

They sound like GREAT friends.

I eventually got back to them. M FINALLY asks me if im alright after hours of ignoring me, it felt a little insulting. I cried my eyes out quietly on the bus and later on the phone with my dad.I was crushed

Later i messaged them. I told them how hurt and upset i was, i was also so confused and said how i was just trying to do what friends do

I was sent a long text about how they had a ton of issues with me and were mad that i never take their advice related to executive functioning. They said they had to walk on eggshells around me and how they couldnt be near me anymore for their mental health.

Huh?!

I was so confused. Not once during those 3 years had any of them ever talked to me about problems they had. We had a casual discussion and a short text about ADHD/autism advice but thats it. I was lied to. I was told everything was fine and it wasn’t, thats why i was so insistent.

I can 100% understand if this was after a serious conversation about how much it bothered them and i didnt listen, but this wasn’t the case. I was told by B that i needed to get the hint and be more aware of social cues.

AITA?

Reddit overwhelmingly sided with OP as NTA, calling out the friend group for poor communication and straight-up inconsiderate behavior.

The general take: these are NOT her friends.

This person says she definitely needs a new friend group.

And this person says this is super mixed signals, and so toxic.

If your communication style is “silent treatment and vibes,” don’t be surprised when it translates to “we’re not friends anymore.”

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.