It’s not easy having hard conversations with family members, but some are certainly better at it than others.

How would you handle your parent constantly dealing low blows in arguments? One son recently asked for honest advice on this on Reddit. Here’s what he said.

AITA for lashing out at my mother for always comparing me to my grandad who we both dislike?

For the past couple of years me (22M) and my mother have not had a great relationship.

We don’t see each other that often but we always tend to argue, even over small things, when we meet.

I admit that a lot of this is due to faults of my own.

That’s pretty big of him to admit.

There have been moments where I haven’t fulfilled promises as well as I should have, or set false expectations on what I can do for her (she’s getting older and frailer).

I know that I could do much better in this and my very busy day-to-day life isn’t helping, and I genuinely want to do better.

I was a pretty disappointing son growing up, I reckon.

He sounds like he’s carrying a lot of weight for someone that young.

However, there is one thing that ALWAYS sets me off and that’s my mum, when she’s disappointed with me, has started comparing me to my paternal grandfather.

She notices a lot of similarities between him and me and is always comparing him to me whenever I do something wrong.

I know she really doesn’t like him, as they argued a lot when I was growing up and he has disappointed her with regards to inheritance over the past couple of years.

Comparing is definitely a petty reaction on the mom’s part.

I’m honestly not a huge fan of him either but she seems to dislike him so much it’s damaging her relationship with my dad as well.

I understand why what I am doing disappoints my mum but to always be compared to somebody I know she hates, even if she says she’s not doing it to criticise me is really grinding my gears and it makes me unwilling to listen her.

Seems like a pretty understandable reaction.

So I always lash out and that invariably makes the conversation turn for the worse, and it is making maintaining our relationship difficult.

What am I doing wrong?

It sounds like this guy is showing up in good faith here. Let’s see if Reddit could offer any wise words.

And felt there was more to the Mom’s behavior than what was being said.

Others cited their sources.

One person asked the important questions.

Another suggested petty revenge.

You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your battles.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check this one out about a man who created a points system for his inheritance, and a family friend ends up getting almost all of it.