There is a limit to how many times a person can volunteer their sanity before they stop volunteering altogether.

When a man reached his breaking point after years of babysitting two kids who had never been told “no” in their lives, he drew a hard line — and his sister-in-law’s upcoming vacation plans ran straight into it.

Read on to see how it all played out.

no more babysitting

My sister-in-law Lilian announced she was pregnant about 10 years ago. She had been trying to have kids for years and years with no success.

This gave her somewhat of a complex about it.

They have a rather large family, and Lilian would get angry and jealous when someone else in the family would have a child.

I understand the feelings of frustration with not being able to have kids, but not the jealousy part.

So when Lilian finally got pregnant, he had his doubts about whether she was up for the task.

Anyway, she finally became pregnant through in vitro. While I was very happy for them, I expressed to my wife that she might not be able to handle parenthood.

Lilian pretends to be frugal, but if you observe from the inside like I do, you know it’s anything but. My wife and I live very modestly.

He acted in secret to create somewhat of a safety net.

I am a prolific saver, and wanting to help them, I gave them $20k to start a college fund. I did it without telling my wife until afterward.

So once the kids were born, I started to notice that Lilian was struggling. She had bad postpartum depression, but did eventually come out of it okay.

In the past, he had helped his brother out too when he was struggling.

For reference, my brother has 3 kids ranging in age from 25 to 10 years old at this point. When his oldest was born, he was a single dad, so our family chipped in to help any way we could.

So we literally changed diapers, stayed up through sickness, and were with my niece all through her toddler years.

I told my wife I was concerned Lilian would have a meltdown over the smallest thing, and I don’t react well to people becoming irrational and angry.

So turns out, Lilian did need quite a bit of help.

Lilian asked me to feed my niece and proceeded to instruct me how — knowing full well I had done it 100 more times than she had with a newborn.

My niece was very fussy and would just start crying because that’s the only way kids can express themselves.

I would let her cry a little, then she would settle and eat some more. You just have to be patient.

Lilian didn’t see things the same way.

Well, Lilian came in the room and went nuclear when she saw my niece crying.

She started yelling at me, saying I was being careless just letting her sit there crying. My feeling was she’s an infant, and they cry.

As long as she is safe, you just need to let her do her thing and get her fed.

He decided it would be better if he just peeled out, and the two didn’t talk for months afterwards.

So without saying anything, I just left — because I have the tendency to say the wrong thing when someone yells at me for no apparent reason.

We didn’t talk for six months, but finally Lilian apologized after her mom and my wife told her she was wrong for going off on me.

Now that the kids are older, he still babysits from time to time.

Fast forward seven years, and the kids are eight now. We would babysit periodically as we could and visit like normal.

I work full time and run my own company on the side, so I am usually very busy.

He doesn’t really think the kids have been parented well.

My niece and nephew are very entitled, and they don’t discipline the kids at all. So as more time went on, my wife and I babysit less and less because the kids just have a meltdown if I tell them no to anything they want.

The norm in their house is the kids do whatever they want.

So he finally decided he was done putting up with the nonsense.

I was not raised like that, and I finally got fed up the last time we were over there. The kids were completely out of control. So I told my wife I am not babysitting again, since the kids literally have no respect for anything.

It’s extremely stressful to me to babysit anymore. Apparently I am not the only one who feels this way.

Now Lilian can’t seem to find anyone to watch her kids.

Lilian literally can’t get any family to babysit, and now can’t get any non-family either.

My wife told me the other day that her sister is planning a vacation for her and her husband away from the kids. She wants us to babysit for an entire week.

So he was quick to decline.

I said no — that I will come over and visit, but babysitting is completely out of the question. My wife feels the same way I do, but she doesn’t stand up to Lilian.

I don’t really think it’s my place to discipline their kids. On the other hand, I also won’t let them walk all over my wife and I while babysitting.

Now he wonders if it’s the right thing to do.

It’s different if we visit — the parents are there and they can deal with it.

So AITA for refusing? I want to help, but not at the expense of my own sanity.

Babysitting is a big responsibility, so if you don’t feel up to the task, it’s probably better to just decline.

What did Reddit have to say?

It’s high time to set the record straight with his wife.

There’s a long list of things that should now be deemed unacceptable.

His wife needs to be better about standing up to Lilian.

If Lilian wanted a babysitter for her kids, maybe she should have parented them a little better.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.