Home security is supposed to make you feel safer…not like you’re living in a reality show your mother-in-law can tune into anytime.

She thought the cameras were just for her and her partner…normal doorbell, garden monitoring, nothing crazy. Then she finds out her MIL has full access. Notifications, live view, the whole thing. Every time she steps outside, comes home, or even moves around the property, there’s a ping.

And while her partner insists it’s about “security,” she can’t shake the feeling that it’s less about safety and more about surveillance.

AITAH for not wanting my MIL to have access to our cameras?

My partner has given my MIL full access to our doorbell / garden cameras through the app. This means she gets notifications whenever there’s motion at our house.

So if I leave the house, come home, go into the garden, or even just step outside, she gets a notification and can open the app and watch live if she wants.

Personally, I value my privacy and I really don’t like the feeling that I could be watched at any moment. My partner also has access to the camera of course, but that doesn’t bother me at all. What bothers me is that her mum or whoever has her phone can see everything too.

Absolutely.

My partner insists it’s for “security reasons.” Her argument is that if someone approached the house, tried to damage the cars, or something suspicious happened, my MIL could see it and either call the police, speak through the camera, or drive over since she lives about 5–10 minutes away.

I understand the idea behind it, and I don’t think there’s any bad intention, but it still makes me uncomfortable.

Every time I try to bring it up, it turns into an argument. My partner says things like I’m being jealous or that my own mum doesn’t care about us the way hers does. She also says things like “what if something happens to the cars?”

Oh please.

For context, the account is in my partner’s email. I only have a guest login.

She shares the camera with her mum because her mum has the same brand camera at her house, and my partner gets notifications from her mum’s camera as well.

One time I accidentally stayed logged into my partner’s account and started getting notifications from my MIL’s camera. I was told that was weird and that I needed to log out immediately.

That seems wildly unair.

The irony is that this is exactly how I feel about her mum having access to ours, but whenever I try to explain that, my partner won’t listen.

We both work from home and we’re actually about to move house soon, which will put us about 20–30 minutes away from her mum instead of 5–10.

So, AITAH for not wanting my MIL to have access to our doorbell camera and notifications about when I come and go?

Reddit overwhelmingly sided with NTA, with many calling this a major boundary issue.

This person says the partner is the biggest part of the problem.

This person says to mess with the cameras in the funniest way.

And this person has a sneaky idea…

When “security” starts feeling like surveillance, it’s no surprise people are split on where safety ends and privacy begins.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.