There’s nothing quite like being jolted awake at 3AM…by someone else’s boyfriend.

She’s already running on fumes (final exams, moving stress, and single-handedly clearing out years of apartment clutter) when the doorbell starts going off. Not once. Not twice. Five times.

Turns out? It’s the roommate’s boyfriend, casually showing up in the middle of the night.  So when he wants to come back and stay over again the very next night? Yeah, not exactly the warmest welcome.

AITA for not wanting my roommates bf sleep here tonight after what happened yesterday

I (29F) live together with my roomate (20F). We’ve been only living together for 3 months and we are both moving out end of the week.

I am under a lot of stress at the moment because I have exam period at uni and I’m also the main contractor for the apartment.

So it’s up to me to leave everything perfectly and have been working non-stop to get all the stuff out that has accumulated year from years of people living in here.

That’s a lot of stress!

I’ve only lived here for 2 1/2 years but with my moving out, the landlord wanted to renovate the whole place, so now I got into the unfortunate situation to be responsible for everything. People have lived here since the 2000’s.

Since she’s only lived here for 3 months, I have not once asked her to help me and have been emptying out everything by myself. Mind you, she is just out of school and only works once a week, so she has a lot of free time.

Her boyfriend (20M) has been bothering me for a long time. The minute she’s moved in here, he has been here weekly, ranging from 3-5 days.

Woof.

I’ve collided with him in the mornings and they also often would block the kitchen for several hours in the evening. Since I’m pretty much busy with work and uni, it was extremely difficult for me not to constantly collide with them.

What happened tonight is the following: I heard the door bell ring at 3 am and immediately woke up and got scared what’s going on. I didn’t immediately open as we have sometimes drunk people ring once and thought I’d wait. 2 minutes later, it rang again.

This continued up to 5 times and then I woke up my roommate that the doorbell is ringing and that I’ll open the door.

Middle-of-the-night visitors are not welcome.

We then picked up the phone and who was it? Her boyfriend. In the morning I texted her to say that this is disrespectful, especially because I have my last exam tomorrow, am already highly stressed and lost a lot of sleep.

She then told me he had an exam at school today and had a panic attack at night. I said I’m sorry and that I emphasise with him feeling very stressed but why didn’t he call you beforehand?

She said he did but he didn’t hear it. She then said he wanted to come here again after the exam.

Not AGAIN.

I told her okay, he can come but I don’t want him to sleep over tonight or have any collision in the morning before my exam and after this sh***y night. She seemed to be upset by that.

Now I’m wondering if I’m not showing enough empathy for him?

AITA?

The general consensus: empathy matters, but so does basic respect for shared living spaces and other people’s sleep.

This person says  NTA and that the boyfriend is just causing problems.

This person has a fresh perspective.

And this person agrees with all.

A panic attack explains the 3AM visit, it doesn’t automatically earn a sleepover the next night.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.