When you live in an apartment building, the nice thing to do is to try to live as quietly as you can so that you don’t bother your neighbors.

What would you do if your upstairs neighbor was very loud when she had people over, but when you asked for advance notice of her parties, she declined?

That is what happened to the young woman in this story, and now she feels bad for asking because there is tension between her and her neighbors.

AITAH for asking my neighbor to let me know if she’s going to have loud guests?

I (26F) live in my apartment on the 2nd floor.

Being considerate is important when living in an apartment building.

I try to be considerate of my neighbors downstairs and next door. Not being too loud, walking softly and just keeping quiet in general.

The same cannot be said for my upstairs neighbors.

Some people are just loud in general.

My neighbor, let’s call her Jill, has company over every so often and it’s incredibly disturbing. Just on Thursday night, Jill had some friends over and they were incredibly loud.

For an hour and half straight, non stop stomping, yelling, shouting, and faint music in the background.

These neighbors are excessively loud and not even making an effort.

It was so loud I’m having a hard time hearing my own tv without turning it up (I feel it will become disruptive to my next door neighbor who has a small child) and I don’t want to damage my own hearing.

I couldn’t hear videos on my phone because their game night was too distracting.

It is best to address the issue when you are calm, not when you are upset.

Well, today I’ve had enough. Once again, there’s another game night happening. Loud, disruptive and just flat out annoying!

I decided to go upstairs and politely ask Jill to try to keep it down. She opens the door and I explain I live downstairs and ask if Jill and company could try to keep it down.

Nothing wrong with a game night, but it doesn’t have to be so loud.

Jill says that she works nights so sometimes she has friends over for a game night.

I told her that was all well and good, but they’re loud and disturbing me in my home. I asked her if she would consider letting me know if she was going to have loud company.

Some people hate being criticized.

Jill started to get defensive and said that she pays too much money (it’s true. we pay too much.) to let a neighbor know when she has company.

Immediately, I realized that might have been inappropriate and I apologized. I told her that I just want to enjoy my own home without hearing their entire conversation in my apartment.

Well, I hope she actually makes an effort.

She just said she would TRY to keep it down. I said thank you and we exchanged a couple of “Have a good night.”

I’m feeling a lot of anxiety right now and wondering if I was an AH to ask for a heads up if there’s going to be a lot of noise upstairs?

AITA?

I’m not sure how it would help to be told when she is having a party, but regardless, she isn’t out of line for trying to come up with a solution to this issue.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about the situation.

Wow, this commenter really wants to escalate things.

This is a great idea.

This commenter thinks she handled herself well.

They need to get some carpets or something.

This is a difficult situation.

Neighbors should at least make an effort to keep the noise down.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.