When you get married, or even just get into a serious relationship, it is important to set up boundaries with any friend of the opposite sex.

What would you do if you had a male friend who you said you didn’t want to hang out with one one one anymore, but he got very upset about it?

That is what happened to the married woman in this story, and she doesn’t want to hurt him but she is thinking about cutting off the friendship entirely over this.

AITA for telling my male best friend I don’t want to hang out with him 1:1 anymore?

I (33F) have been friends with a guy (32M) for over a decade. Our relationship has literally been platonic.

They have been friends through a lot.

We met at work in 2012, I was married at that time. Over the course of 12 years I have gotten divorced, dated a few guys(never him), had a kid, got married to my kids dad and am expecting baby number 2 in a few months.

Our friendship has strictly been platonic the whole time. He has dated a few women but nothing that has ever turned serious.

This seems like a healthy relationship, so far.

I have not hung out with him 1:1 in over 4 years due to traveling for work, focusing on my marriage and family, but we would text and catch up when we could.

In may of this year we were catching up as normal and he mentioned getting pedicures together.

She is making a very reasonable request.

While I was excited about the idea, I told him I wasn’t comfortable doing a 1:1 activity with just him as I didn’t want to put my marriage in a disrespectful situation from an outside perspective. W

We could continue hanging out as friends with my husband involved but I will not be hanging out with him 1:1 out of respect for my marriage. At first he said he was hurt but understood.

Why is he upset?

I took a month to text him back a response after he said he was hurt, and that’s when all hell broke loose.

He stated I wasn’t considering his feelings in the situation, it’s an irrational argument due to my insecurities, and if I really cared about our friendship I would have handled this differently.

It isn’t even like they hung out together a lot before.

I truly don’t know how I should have handled it differently. In my eyes, I set a boundary and he doesn’t respect it/understand it.

It’s not my problem/job to make him feel comfortable as I have a husband and a family that is my number one priority (all things that I have told him).

She and her husband seem to have a very mature relationship.

I have talked about this with my husband and he states he appreciates the gesture of my boundary but he trust me and isn’t worried about anything happening between me and the friend.

My husband also doesn’t understand why my friend is feeling so butt hurt. They get along and are planning on doing a common hobby together soon.

She is not obligated to hang out with him.

I am not saying I don’t want to be friends with the guy, I just don’t want to hang out solo with him. I have asked a mutual friend (someone who knows the both of us and the three of us hung out regularly in the early days) for her opinion and she states she sees both sides but is siding more with him.

So, am I in the wrong for telling a long time friend I don’t want to hangout with him 1:1 anymore now that I’m married with a family?

Honestly at this point I’m ready to throw the whole relationship away.

AITA?

I don’t blame her for being frustrated. She set up a very reasonable boundary and he is making a huge deal out of it.

Let’s take a look at what the people in the comments have to say about it.

This person hates people like this.

She isn’t really a friend at all.

This person says he would just distance himself from her.

Why did she need to tell him this anyway?

This person says she is being a bad friend.

Her friend is overreacting, it isn’t like they were that close to begin with.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.