Woman And Her Friends Were Planning A Sober Girls’ Trip, But When One Of Them Invited Her Non-Sober Brother, The Group Was Divided

Mila Cardozo

6 minutes ago

Freepik/Reddit

All it takes is one moment for people to reveal how they really feel about you.

So when a woman asked a simple question to her friend regarding what was supposed to be a girls’ trip and the whole vibe shifted, she knew she had a decision to make.

What would you do in her situation? Would you still hang out with those friends?

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for asking my friend to not bring her brother on our girls trip?

This happened a few years back but still to this day when I think about it, I get a little shock of pain in my heart.

When Covid started, a small group of women and I started a virtual AA meeting so we could continue to connect and have meetings when we could no longer do so in person.

We all got close, and it was a great little group.

We planned a weekend trip to this awesome big house in the mountains (if memory serves, altogether it was 9 or 10 of us).

There was a firepit, the property was gorgeous, we all were really excited.

But someone changed the original plan.

It then became known to me that the brother of one of the women in the group was planning on attending, and it just kind of put a pit in my stomach.

I thought this was going to be a women’s trip for our group.

I felt put off by this brother, who I didn’t know, joining.

He also wasn’t sober, also not an alcoholic, just a social drinker. I can’t imagine he would’ve drunk during the weekend but I also wasn’t sure.

Let’s call the girl with the brother “Julie” & her brother can be “Joe”.

She tried discussing the subject politely.

As a person who tries to do her best to communicate openly and straightforwardly (with discretion of course) I reached out to Julie directly and was very very careful with my words because I did not want to offend.

The goal was to say how I was feeling and gently ask/suggest if this weekend away could remain a trip for our sober group of women, sans Joe.

She did not like this, and quickly began surveying other women in the group to see if they also felt this way.

Some did, some did not. Things started to spiral.

These were my friends, and I had hoped my saying “I’m not super comfortable with Joe coming” wasn’t going to be so problematic.

It pretty much split the group.

But it became clear that there were women in the group that wanted to caretake Julie & Joe’s feelings and mine were not as important.

I am all about inclusivity, but I didn’t want to take this trip with a guy I didn’t know (who may or may not have brought booze).

Ultimately the trip was cancelled, and I felt deeply disappointed.

The kicker is, the majority of the group went on to plan a camping trip without me, inviting Joe.

I only found out because the 3 women who had my back were invited and told me they declined.

Now they had a smaller group.

Me and those 3 ended up going on our own camping trip and had a nice time but man were my feelings hurt.

I didn’t understand how the group couldn’t be objective i.e., if an all-female group of bridesmaids went on a trip, why would one person bring their brother?

Or at least, why not bring it to the group and ask “hey would it be cool if I invited so & so”.

We planned a trip for the members of our group/meeting. There was no talk of bringing significant others or additional guests.

AITA?

She did nothing wrong.

What did Reddit think?

That was weird.