There’s a certain kind of family member who turns every celebration into a scorecard.

When one woman agreed to split a birthday gift with her mom and ended up getting blamed by her uncle for cheaping out, she refused to spend a penny more.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA For Doing a Joint Gift for a Family Member

With my younger cousin’s 21st birthday coming up in a few weeks, I asked my mum if she had any ideas for what me and my partner should get her as a present.

So she and her mom come up with a plan.

She said, “I’m giving her money with a card, how about we do it from all of us? About £100?”

I said yes, sounds good.

But soon she realized not everyone was on the same page.

Fast forward to the day after the party, I get a phone call from my mum saying, “By the way, did you guys bring a present for your cousin at the party yesterday?”

I said no, you said you would give money and a card from all of us.

Things get unnecessarily complicated.

She said, “Oh okay, I just wanted to check, because your uncle texted me to ask if you guys brought anything as they didn’t notice anything from you.

I forgot to put your names in the card, but I’ll let him know that the money was from all of us.”

The uncle has some strong opinions.

Today, I get another call from my mum: “Hey, your uncle told your aunt who told me that they think it’s really bad you guys didn’t do a separate gift, because all your other cousins did.

Can you please bring a birthday card for your cousin at the family thing happening tomorrow and give it to them just to keep the peace?”

Then came the matter of the monetary value of the gift.

Apparently they also feel the amount of money (£100 from us all) isn’t enough for us to have been contributing to a gift, as all the other family members gave £100 too.

My mum feels £100 was enough to be from us all, and so do I.

But she isn’t on board with this.

I said no, I won’t be giving another card — as my mum has told my uncle the money was from all of us, that should be enough.

My mum is now saying she is going to give the card and money on my behalf then, as she doesn’t want to give them a reason to complain, to keep things friendly, etc.

I’m not particularly close with this uncle, to be honest.

This is all part of a larger complex her uncle seems to have.

He has had issues like this in the past where he feels like he or his family have been “slighted” by someone else in the family for quite trivial reasons.

Still, his words are starting to weigh on her.

I don’t think I am in the wrong, but am starting to feel guilty now.

But if it was me, I would just let something like this go rather than guilt the other person.

AITA?

Shouldn’t her presence be present enough?

What did Reddit think?

This user seems to think a gifting faux pas really may have been broken here.

Maybe it’s time to step back from the family get togethers for a while.

It’s time to stop engaging with this nonsense.

This commenter is curious if this uncle practices what he preaches.

This uncle needs to learn that generosity isn’t a competition.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.