Planning a big trip with family takes time, money, and coordination, so changing it last minute isn’t always an option.

So, what would you do if you were asked to be in a wedding that landed right in the middle of a fully paid family vacation that is not refundable? Would you try to rearrange everything to make it work? Or would you apologize and stick to your plans?

In the following story, one woman is put in this exact situation and ends up upsetting her cousin. Here’s what happened.

AITAH for refusing to change family vacation plans for a wedding?

My cousin, whom I would say I’m very close with, asked me to be a part of her wedding (she gave me about 7 months’ notice).

However, the wedding will fall right in the middle of a two-week-long vacation in Europe that has been planned a year in advance with my family as well as my in-laws (husband’s parents, siblings, and their children).

The flights and hotels are already paid for and are unfortunately not refundable, so we would be out several thousand dollars if we canceled.

She told her cousin she would think about it.

I let my cousin know of my vacation plans when she sent us the invite, but she suggested that I could maybe move our vacation dates or come back early.

I have a small child, so I don’t really want to leave her in a foreign country with my husband. My husband also isn’t keen on the idea of the three of us bailing on his family in the middle of the trip.

I told her I would think about it, but after a few weeks, I finally told her that I don’t think I would be able to attend her wedding.

Now, friends and family are split on her decision.

I felt absolutely terrible. I even offered to cover the costs of her flowers or cake because I want her to know that this isn’t just about money. She is very upset, didn’t respond when I explained why I couldn’t make it, and is currently not speaking to me.

Our mutual friends and family members have also made several comments to me stating that I can always vacation some other time, but her wedding will only happen once.

I should also note that this is her second wedding. She had a courthouse wedding and dinner party last year, which I did attend.

AITA?

Eek! It’s easy to see both sides of this, but it does sound like she tried.

Let’s check out what the fine folks over at Reddit think she should do.

This reader thinks it’s rude.

For this reader, there’s no reason to feel guilty.

According to this comment, the cousin is being unreasonable.

This is a good question.

She needs to stick to her plans because her cousin is being ridiculous. Hopefully, she gets over it one day.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.