Imagine being self-employed and making a lot of money. If your boyfriend didn’t make very much money, would you be honest about your income or keep it a secret?

In this story, one woman is in this situation, and she kept her income a secret….until her boyfriend asked. Now, they’re both upset.

Keep reading to see if anyone actually did anything wrong, or if they’re simply not compatible.

AITAH for not consoling my bf because I make more money?

I make a good deal of money (which I know people will say I’m a jerk already lol), but I live a very modest lifestyle.

My monthly budget is 4k a month and most months I profit 30k.

I’m self employed so sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s less.

Next month– minor flex because I’m anon and I can– it’ll be around 80k pre-tax. Woohoo.

Her boyfriend doesn’t make nearly as much money as she does.

I have a boyfriend and we’ve been dating for five months.

He’s a good guy, but more “traditional” than I’ve ever dated before.

He works as an assist manager in a farming shop paying 15 dollars an hour.

We’re both in our mid-thirties and live in the -end of nowhere. I only moved here to be close to my niece and nephew.

She’s keeping her income private.

No, he doesn’t know what I make.

We’ve only been dating a few months and I’m private about how much I’m squirreling away.

I drive an older kia, bought a standard 3/2 house last year but have almost paid it off.

Her secret is kind of out.

The issue is he saw one of my invoices to a vender pop up on my notifications. Bill was about 5k.

He was shocked I was paying that much.

I told him it was the cost of doing business.

And he was like, “Must be nice to drop twice what a normal person makes a month on business.”

He was really bothered by her bills.

I’m usually water off a duck’s back when it comes to conflict so I told him it would be nice if I didn’t have to pay that bill at all.

He dropped it but I was getting a vibe from him the last few days. Seemed distant.

I visited at his place and asked him what was wrong and I guess seeing me pay someone 5000 set him on a complete spiral. He’s trying to figure out how “he can be a man” when I’m off “paying other men” more than he makes.

I did not like the implications of that, like I’m a lady of the night or something, and asked him if he freaks out on farmers who drop thousands on equipment.

She kind of lied.

He said it was different and asked how much I make.

He hasn’t asked before, which was a little on me because I always give the impression what I make isn’t that impressive.

I had a bad feeling so I lied and told him 120k, which is “officially” my salary take. (Hi IRS!) If you know what S-Corps are, you have an idea what I mean.

Anyway, he burst into tears.

She didn’t console him.

I think if I was nicer I should have consoled him or something?

I know he’s feeling like a loser — which he’s not. He has a cool job IMO and he’s super knowledgeable about farm stuff which I find interesting.

He’s a pillar in the community because we’re surrounded by ranches and he knows everyone, and again I find it really cool — but he was upset that I see more money on the regular than he sees in a year.

She’s not sure how she could’ve made him feel better.

I may had dropped the ball a bit here and told him he’s going to have to find a way to be okay with not being the provider, and then just got out of his house.

I just couldn’t figure out a way to make him feel better without lying more or making myself small.

I guess I could have told him that working in a farm store is super manly or something, I dunno. It’s easy to think of these things afterward.

She’s pretty upset.

My guess is it’s some early mid-life crisis, but I resent that it’s coming at my expense. That because I’m doing well, he feels bad.

If I found out he secretly had a lot of family money I’d be really happy and glad for him.

But no, learning I could cover a 5000 dollar bill for my own business made him feel like less of a man to the point where he had to throw shade on me.

That’s a “him” problem. I’m still kinda mad about that.

She wonders if money has changed her.

I don’t know. I’m also coming from a place of super-privilege because it’s been a few years since I’ve had to think about bills and I don’t care what people say, that changes you.

So am I a jerk? (And also, what do I do now?)

He’s jealous, and her income is a blow to his ego. That is definitely a him problem. They may not be compatible.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

Not all men are upset at being married to a woman who makes more than they do.

A man whose wife makes more than he does weighs in.

I agree that their relationship might not make it.

Another person thinks it’s obvious that they’re not compatible.

His fragile ego is going to end their relationship.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.