Growing up without your family doesn’t guarantee you’ll want them back when the opportunity finally arrives.

So when a man who had essentially been raised by everyone except his own parents ended up living near them as an adult, his extended family took it as a chance to rebuild bridges.

But when he realized he wanted nothing to do with them, he had to grapple with whether his indifference was justified or just plain cruel.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for not being able to relate to or feel a connection to my biological siblings?

My parents had me when they were 16. We lived with my grandparents — my mom’s parents — at the time.

They moved out when I was 2 and I continued living with my grandparents. They even became my legal guardians.

At the start, his parents didn’t play a huge role in his life.

I saw my parents once or twice a year, and that was all the relationship I had with them. My relationship with my dad’s parents didn’t exist at all.

When I was 9, my grandpa died and my grandma became permanently disabled to the point she could no longer live at home.

But then came a few huge changes.

That’s when my parents took over guardianship and my dad’s parents paid for me to attend boarding school.

My dad’s parents didn’t think my parents’ progress and plans should be dragged down by me. So I was in boarding school and my parents continued living their lives.

My grandparents arranged for me to stay with extended family during summer and winter breaks, and I had nothing to do with my parents again.

He soon learned that his parents made some huge life changes too, but they continued to stay estranged.

In that time, my parents had three more kids. I found out about them whenever I went to see extended family.

I didn’t meet my siblings or spend any time with them.

After I graduated, I ended up living away from my parents, my dad’s parents, and the extended family who let me stay with them for holidays.

I worked, did an apprenticeship, and then met my girlfriend.

After that, the couple ended up moving closer to his parents.

Her family doesn’t live far from my parents, and when we wanted to be closer to them, I ended up closer to my parents too.

That was four years ago, and since then my dad’s siblings have been trying to get to know me.

They soon begin pressuring him to reconnect with his family, but he knows he doesn’t want to.

They have also tried to reconcile me with my parents and help me bond with my siblings.

The relationship with my parents was a non-starter. But I feel the same about my siblings, even though I have tried to make it different.

I just don’t relate to them at all and don’t feel a connection to them whatsoever. It’s not like I love them but we’re just different ages either.

He just doesn’t feel like the emotional connection is there.

I really don’t feel anything for them beyond what I would feel for a kid I’d see in the mall. I have to force myself to keep making the effort, but my feelings haven’t changed even a little.

The difficult part is that my siblings have grown to love me and want to see me more.

I don’t always agree to the things they ask me to do, and when I skip anything it causes trouble with my dad’s siblings and my parents.

He now feels like he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I can ignore my parents more easily, but my dad’s siblings told me they gave me the chance to make up for lost time and that I should want to spend all the time I could with my siblings.

If they knew how I really felt, I think they would probably have some very harsh things to say — and maybe that’s deserved.

AITAH?

It’s no surprise this man feels indifferent about a family who treated him so poorly.

What did Reddit think?

The people around him now don’t seem to grasp the full nuance of the situation.

Being related to someone doesn’t mean you have to be close.

Families are supposed to treat each other kindly, but this one clearly missed the mark.

Maybe a professional could help him work through some of these feelings.

Some families are estranged for a reason.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.