Young Woman Argues That Her Brother Always Gets Financial Help And Gifts From Their Parents, But They Are Always Short On Money For Her

Mila Cardozo

4 minutes ago

Freepik/Reddit

Toxic family dynamics are tough to navigate without making things worse.

So when a young woman noticed her parents always prioritize and reward her brother instead of her, she decided to call them out on it.

But she is also wondering if she’s being unfair, since her brother seems to need more help than she does.

Would you handle this situation differently?

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for calling out my families favouritism towards my brother (M18) over myself (F21)?

Throughout my (F21) life I’ve always known my brother (M20) to receive “better” treatment than me.

I was a parentified child who had to deal with the issues of my mentally ill parents, and he was the child they coddled throughout.

As he got older I thought it would get better, but I actually feel like it’s getting worse and I am starting to call my parents out on it.

What has gotten to me most is a new situation.

For around 1-2 months now I’ve been thinking about doing a year abroad next year working overseas in Europe.

But it seems she was on her own.

I discussed this with my mum and step dad, and my dad.

Not once did either parent offer any financial help, which I was totally fine with.

I am an adult who has the money to fund myself after years of working hard.

I’ve always been pretty independent, but this independence was pushed on me, not something I was proud to have.

Now the past couple of weeks my brother has been suggesting that he wants to work in a summer camp in the USA this year.

This is when the double standards became painfully clear to her.

Not only does he have limited funds to do this, but he has also left it till the very last minute.

My brother only got a job when he turned 18 after finishing school, and works a couple shifts a week.

He doesn’t have much money, and is fine with it. But now all of a sudden he wants to do this and of course my parents are willing to fund whatever he needs to get over there.

I understand we are in different financial situations, but the fact that both my parents never offered me financial help once, and instantly jumped to help him says so much.

She’s finally had enough of this dynamic.

I just feel like I’ve had to work so hard since I was 16, getting a higher education, working multiple jobs, dealing with my chronic illness.

My brother has kind of just cruised through his life relying on my parents to fall back on and it’s working in his favour.

This isn’t the first instance of favouritism there’s so many others I could include such as my mum refusing to give me her old car which I offered to pay for.

Meaning, I had to get a $15K loan to afford to buy a car, while just a few months later she gave her car to my brother completely for free.

When I turned 18 I had to pay for all my own stuff (utilities, groceries, insurance etc) yet now my brother is 18 he doesn’t have to do the same.

She feels invisible.

I’m not saying I expect my parents to be my piggy bank, but I think that it’s unfair that my parents are so willing to give my brother everything while he does nothing, while I’m here working so hard just to get very little from them.

These are only the financial examples, yet the favouritism is shown in other ways such as emotionally, physically etc.

I’ve called it out multiple times to my parents, and every time they just say I am overthinking the situation.

She called them out on it.

Especially with the new situation which has arisen, they think I am silly for making something out of it.

They said “you don’t need help, your brother does”, which I feel totally undermines the actual situation.

Part of me feels like I’m in the wrong for doing this because I know they are just trying to help my brother.

AITA?

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