Weddings are so stressful without all the drama that family members add to it. It would be nice if parents could just respect their children’s decisions when it comes to what they want to do at their wedding, but that’s not always the case.

Imagine growing up without ever knowing your dad. When it came to your wedding day, who would you choose to have walk you down the aisle?

In this story, one woman is in this situation, and she has two options. One is her uncle, and that’s her mom’s choice. The other is a former boss who is almost like an adoptive father. He treats her like family and is even paying for part of her wedding.

She wants the man who is a father figure in her life to walk her down the aisle, but that is causing a lot of drama with her mom. Now, she’s stuck wondering whether to choose family or her heart.

Keep reading for the full story.

Mom won’t let my adoptive dad to walk me down the aisle

Me (30f) am getting married next May, I have a small bio family of just mom (54), younger brother, an uncle, his wife and a cousin

Mom had me and bro with total strangers (hey, no judging!) so we never got to meet our dads.

I started working when I was 16 for foreigner engineer Theo (50m) and his family, and I love them to bits.

Apparently, they love her too.

Somewhere around my early 20s, Theo decided I was no longer an employee, but part of his family. He insisted on me calling him “dad”, and I became just another sibling to his children.

I am even written down on his will, even though I now work somewhere else. He has been an important piece of my life and Fiancee (32m) just treats him like an actual FIL

Mom, however, dislikes Theo. She married her long term bf John when I was 14, but I never really saw him as a fatherly figure.

She was truly offended when all of a sudden he became my “dad” but I wouldn’t call John other than his name, or would call John’s children my siblings.

This is sad.

Sadly, John passed away from Covid in 2020. Mom was heartbroken, forbid me from talking about Theo in her presence because “that man is a creep and not your actual dad”, and automatically decided it should be my uncle who ought to walk me down the aisle on my wedding since I have no father.

I honestly thought she would get over it, but ever since my wedding planning started, she has been ignoring/changing my plans regarding Theo and his family.

She tried to sabotage their invitations from being sent, she refuses to communicate with that side of the family even though Theo is paying a great deal of the wedding, since he promised to contribute a bit for all of his children’s weddings, me being the first one to get married, and she is insisting on my uncle to be the one walking me down the aisle, although uncle clearly understands that is not what I want, and also considers Theo some kind of extended family.

She’s not sure what to do.

Fiancee’s family has tried to reason with mom, but she always ends up crying, remembering her dead husband, and telling me how awful I am of not thinking of her feelings for the wedding

So, Reddit, am I that really terrible?

Uninviting her is not an option, I want her there, but I also want this man who is not my father but treats me as his child to be there

It’s her wedding! She should do what she wants.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bride whose sweet tribute to her biological family was foiled by her jealous adoptive mother.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

Here’s a vote for Theo.

This is a good point.

It’s her decision.

Everyone knows she gets to decide, not her mom.

While it’s sweet that she feels bad about not agreeing with her mom on this decision, it is still her decision, not her mom’s decision. I mean, if Theo is even paying for the wedding, he truly is family. And, if the uncle doesn’t mind, why should the mom mind?

Weddings would be so much less stressful to plan if the bride and groom could make decisions without family members trying to make them feel guilty about these decisions. It’s not being a bridezilla to decide who you want to walk you down the aisle.

It’s sweet that Theo has taken her in as a part of his family. Considering she doesn’t have another father figure in her life, that’s really a wonderful thing for him to do.

I hope her wedding day is everything she wants it to be and that she doesn’t let her mother’s drama bring her down or cause her to change her mind about what she really wants.