Trying to include someone new without making things awkward can be surprisingly stressful in close friend groups.

In the following story, a dungeon master spent months planning a huge reunion trip for her longtime DnD group after finishing a campaign they played together for three years.

As a thank you, she handmade custom bags and pouches inspired by each friend’s character, so everyone would have a meaningful keepsake after the trip.

Then, one of her closest friends started dating someone new.

Now, the girlfriend plans to attend the trip, too, which leaves the dungeon master stuck, wondering if excluding her from the handmade gifts would make her feel unwanted from the start.

Read on to see where she’s at with this whole thing.

WIBTA If I didn’t give my friend’s girlfriend a bag?

So I, 32F, am a major part of planning a get-together with my DnD group coming up in the fall.

It’s a group of 7 people total, myself included, and 4 people live in different states in the US (For the sake of anonymity, it’s basically like having people in Washington, Nevada, Oklahoma, and Pennsylvania, with the remaining 3 of us all living in Iowa).

While we could, technically, get together more often, we all have adult lives with adult responsibilities, and we agree it’s not fair to the group majority if we constantly take long trips away to visit, even if we take turns with hosting.

I say all that to underline how important this get-together is for us, and how much stock people are putting into it.

By now, she has almost all of the items made.

We all plan on spending 3-5 days eating, playing games, and attending a Renaissance faire we mutually agreed to travel to. We want to dress up as our characters as a sort of farewell to a campaign that took us about 3 years to finish, but I’m the DM, so I have no real costume, per se.

I thought I would just make a more generic costume for myself and make bags and pouches for my friends instead, as a way to say thank you to my amazing group. Plus, I want to give everyone some mementos from the trip that are unique to not just them, but to their characters that they’re dressing up as.

The problem is that I’ve basically finished making all the bags and pouches, but one player (36M, one of my closest friends for about 13 years) recently got a girlfriend. I’ve only spoken to her briefly a few times, as the relationship is new, but so far she’s been nice, funny, and respectful.

All her friend has said is that he’s bringing her.

My friend has nothing but nice things to say about her, and he seems happy with her. They seem to be in the “new relationship, warm fuzzies and sweet words” phase, so I don’t know anything concrete about her beyond the fact that she also likes DnD.

He’s basically said he will be bringing his girlfriend with him for our trip, which the entire group is fine with, since we will be seeing to our own accommodations and paying for our own tickets, food, and any extras. So, it’s not like her addition is putting anyone out.

That said, she would be the only one without a handmade bag and pouch from me.

Now, she really doesn’t know what to do.

I’m on the fence because that’s a decent amount of work for me to do for somebody who might not be coming if the relationship ends up not shaking out and ends naturally before the trip.

And it’s also kind of a big gesture for someone who might not be comfortable with receiving gifts that are clearly intended for a matchy-matchy “one of us” sort of thing.

On the other hand, I’d be mortified if she turned up and already felt like the odd man out, and I worsened that and furthered the divide by clearly, and intentionally, not including her.

WIBTA?

Eek! It’s so easy to see both sides of this, but she may be overthinking it a little.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman whose family says they support her art career, but they still don’t want to pay her for product.

Let’s see what the people over at Reddit have to say.

As this comment explains, you have to play the game to get the prize.

Here’s a good suggestion.

For this reader, it’s about having a talk.

Yet another reader who says she should buy a small gift.

The fact that she’s even thinking about it says a lot about her.

A lot of people probably wouldn’t give this situation a second thought, especially when the relationship is still so new.

But instead of focusing only on the extra work, she’s thinking about how excluded the girlfriend might feel if she becomes the only person without a gift.

At the same time, it also makes sense to hesitate before spending hours making something personal for someone she barely knows.

In all honesty, her best option is probably just to grab a small gift and call it a day.