Sometimes relationships get weirdly complicated when money is involved.

This boyfriend found himself stuck between wanting to treat both himself and his girlfriend to getting their nails done and trying to stay financially responsible during a rough time. After covering most date nights, helping with bills, and constantly putting his partner first, he started wondering if getting his own nails done without paying for his girlfriend’s too would secretly make him selfish.

You do not want to miss reading the full story because it’s relatable in a painfully real way. It’s about money and the feeling of guilt while carefully balancing your own needs and your desire to care for your partner.

WIBTA for going to get my (37 m) nails done when my (30 f) gf is unable to do hers

My girlfriend loves getting her nails done. It’s part of her self-care routine, and in addition, it helps her mental health as well. When she’s anxious, she tends to pick at her nails and nail beds, but when she has her nails done, it helps prevent that.

I also love when she gets her nails done because she gives me scratches, and it feels really nice with pointy nails.

I also love getting mine done. I like fun nail art, but keep my natural nails short. I don’t have issues with picking; I just feel well-kept and enjoy the compliments I get from my clients when I take good care of my nails and keep them fun.

Mine usually run about $75, while hers are around $110, both before tip. I’ve paid for her, or both of us, to get our nails done together several times. She actually introduced me to our current nail tech.

This couple have started doing thier nails at home, but it doesn’t feel the same.

Recently, she started doing her own nails at home to save money.

They pop off more easily and don’t last or look quite as great, but they’re still nice. She’s also done mine once for me. They were okay, and I was kind and grateful for the effort.

But I miss the amazing job our nail tech does and want something detailed and fun again.

I don’t really have $200+ to drop on both of our nails right now, or rather, it’s just not in my budget.

They needed to save up for a bit, but she spends more than him.

For context: both of us are kind of financially restricted right now. My car was stolen last October, and I’m saving up for a new one.

My partner is also in the middle of a job transition and has decided to go the self-employment route.

I’m generally pretty modest with my spending. I don’t DoorDash, I don’t have a ton of bills, and I mostly just spend money on the basics to take care of myself and my dog.

My partner, on the other hand, is a much bigger spender and tends to feel “broke” at a very different level than I do.

She generally earns more income than I do, but she also spends at a much higher rate. Things she considers “necessities” sometimes feel like careless overspending to me, but it’s not really my business since we keep our finances separate.

He’s feeling guilty about getting his nails done without her.

Lately, I’ve also loaned and gifted her money to help cover things like therapy and vet bills for her cat. On top of that, I’d say I pay around 90% of the time when we dine in or eat out.

I do love spoiling her, and she’d probably have no objection to me treating her to a manicure, but I’d have to skip getting my own done.

I honestly don’t even think she’d notice that it would actually be a sacrifice for me. Alternatively, I could just get mine done for cheaper without offering to set up and pay for hers, too.

WIBTA?

I can’t personally relate to the appeal of getting my nails done, but I do understand wanting to share something enjoyable with your partner, especially when money is tight. While he absolutely deserves to treat himself to something he loves, it’s reasonable for him to prioritize saving for a new car right now. And honestly, any loving girlfriend would likely understand him skipping her manicure for the time being while he focuses on getting back on his feet financially.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman’s family who is trying to stop her from moving away for her husband’s job.

Let’s read the comments from other people.

Here’s a passionate response.

A fair suggestion.

Another sensible comment from this one.

This makes sense.

And people seem to have the same sentiment.

Necessities first, luxuries later.