Enabling a family member is one of the easiest traps to fall into and one of the hardest patterns to break.

This man learned that firsthand after years of giving his sibling money she never repaid and never put toward improving her situation.

So after racking up an estimated $40,000 to $50,000 in “loans,” he finally decided to put the phone down when she asked again.

An hour later, she was at his door pounding and screaming.

Read on to see what came next.

AITA for telling my sister it’s her fault that she’s in poverty?

A few days ago, my sister (28F) messaged me (26M) that she has no money, and if I could help her.

My sister has always asked me for money without even trying to better herself, or attempt to make any significant change in her life.

His sister wasn’t just borrowing spare change.

This had been going on for years at this point. I mean based on what I can guess the “borrowings” has raked up to 40-50K.

He got use to just complying with every request, but soon he began setting boundaries with his sister.

I was about to send her money like usual but I remembered that my therapist said just to ignore it, so I put down my phone and continued on as normal.

You can guess what happened next.

About an hour or so later I heard banging on my door, you know the one, when you think your door might genuinely fall off.

Anyways I opened the door to see my sister. She screamed at me asking why I never replied.

So when he tried to reason with her, it only made her more upset.

I told her that “she shouldn’t need to depend on me,” and I tried and tried to calm the situation but she kept threatening me and screaming.

Her words got pretty intense, but he refuses to relent.

She kept saying that I was starving her, I was going to let her get hurt, and she can’t get a job because of her conditions (which she doesn’t have, not medically at least).

So I screamed at her telling her it’s her own fault for being in poverty.

She stormed off and I haven’t heard from her since.

AITA? Should I have tried to communicate better?

Sounds like this was the tough love his sister needed.

Let’s see what redditors made of this situation.

He’s a human being, not an ATM with no limit.

Maybe some space from this family member is actually a good thing.

This commenter hopes this is the push that finally gets this woman to improve her life.

His sanity (and his bank account) will be better off without her around.

Years of free money and zero effort have produced a sibling who pounds on doors the moment the ATM closes.

Asking for help is one thing, but this sibling straight up demanded it.

And when she chooses time and time again to not improve her situation, even with significant loans, she proves that she’s not really deserving of this money in the first place.

His therapist is right: it’s time to give his sister some tough love.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman whose family says they support her art career, but they still don’t want to pay her for product.