A neighborly text that opens with “Happy Spring” and ends with paragraphs of research about your yard is the kind of message that requires a careful response.

A couple dealing with exactly that situation were at a loss when their neighbor suddenly felt like policing the type of tree they chose to plant in their own front yard.

As the neighbor continued to politely rant and rave about “tree spread” and “root damage,” the couple wondered just how far they were willing to go to get her off their back.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for not letting neighbor cut down tree we just planted

My girlfriend is an avid gardener and recently planted a tree in our backyard that is apparently upsetting the neighbors.

We’re happy to move it further from their fence but do not want to cut it down.

He tees up the drama.

Here is today’s text exchange:

NEIGHBOR: “Happy Spring! We wanted to give you a heads up that we are hoping to keep the fence between us standing as long as possible, maybe a year or two. Very important to the fence and to the quality of both of our yards is not to let weed trees grow along it. Presently, you have an eight-foot maple volunteer near the one we just cut down. It will continue to grow rapidly.

Would it be okay with you if we cut it down before it gets any bigger?”

So the couple immediately sets the neighbor straight.

US: “Hello, happy spring! The tree is not a maple volunteer, it is a chokecherry that my girlfriend planted. She said she is happy to move the chokecherry in the fall a little further from the fence! We also plan to get our Japanese maple trimmed and will be mindful of the fence when planting anything new.”

The neighbor had quite a bit to say about that.

NEIGHBOR: “I guess that is rather upsetting news, as even if she moves the tree a few feet, a chokecherry can grow 20 feet high and 20 to 30 feet wide. It will grow in our direction most likely due to the sun. It will send suckers under our patio and our small bit of earth. Jack’s cherry was about 10 feet tall when we moved in and it is now maybe 50 feet and a real nuisance for us.

We have spent tens of thousands on neighbors’ trees as everyone plants them on the fence line and then forgets them. It’s really not an appropriate spot for a tree. It’s your yard, so of course you can do what you will, but we hope you will reconsider the merits of that location.

Trimming of the red maple would be great as it is growing into our porch and house a bit. The woman who planted that tree and the hemlocks made sure to plant them away from her own porch. It’s a thing. Sorry to beat a drum.”

Now the couple is at a loss.

We haven’t responded yet, but we’re willing to move it 10 feet from the fence, and I fear that will not be enough to resolve this conflict.

AITA?

Who does this woman think she is?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about neighbors who can’t get along because of a totally legal gate.

Redditors chime in with their feedback.

This reader doesn’t find this request reasonable at all.

This neighbor clearly thinks she has a lot more control than she actually does.

If she doesn’t own the land, she shouldn’t get a say.

It’s worth noting that this neighbor did at least try to be civil about the request.

Both sides of this one are pretty reasonable, which is actually what makes it interesting.

To her credit, this neighbor came with receipts: decades of tree-related expenses, a 50-foot cautionary tale next door, and a genuine understanding of how fast a chokecherry gets out of hand.

On the other hand, this woman planted something she loves and was open to some amount of compromise. But in the end, it is their yard, so what they chose to do is their prerogative.