When growing up it is normal for your friends to hit different life milestones at different times.

What would you do if you had a younger friend who got her first car before you, and she kept making comments about it?

That is what happened to the older friend in this story, and while she wanted to be happy for her, she is making it very difficult.

AIO because my friend got a car before me

AIO because my younger friend got a car before me ?

Let’s see what this is all about.

I’m a 19F, and my friend is 16F. She’s always felt more like a little sister to me than just a friend, which is why I’m unsure if I’m overreacting or if this is something I should address.

I know a lot of people are probably questioning why I’m friends with somebody so young anyways, we met while both involved with (while I was minor) DHS/CPS due to abusive and unstable home situations.

They have a similarly sad history.

I was in the system for about 6–7 years, and she currently still in I would say going on four years now. We bonded over shared experiences and became close during placement.

Now onto the situation:

There is no one set time to get a car.

She recently got a car using state-provided funds through her case. I don’t have a car or my license yet, largely due to unstable placements growing up and past traumatic experiences involving cars, which still make driving scary for me.

She called me to show me the car, which I was supportive about. During the conversation, she said:

That is insensitive, but she is only 16.

“I got my car before you.”

It felt unnecessary, but I didn’t react. When I explained that driving scares me because of my past experiences, she responded:

She really shouldn’t be saying this.

“I’ve been in multiple car crashes and I still have a car.”

I replied:

“That’s your trauma, not mine.”

Why on Earth would the friend be upset about this?

She immediately looked upset and hung up on me.

Why I’m Struggling With This:

She didn’t say anything even remotely rude.

I wasn’t trying to insult her — I was trying to express that trauma affects people differently, and comparing reactions doesn’t feel fair.

This also isn’t the first time she’s made comments like this. She often brings up “adult accomplishments” (money, graduating early, now the car) in arguments or conversations, sometimes around other people.

Her friend really needs to grow up.

She’s also made repeated “joking” comments about me being “unemployed,” even though she’s seen me previously work long hours in healthcare and knows I’m currently between jobs after a move that wasn’t in my control (I’m currently going to a interview posting this)

I’ve gone out of my way to support her in the past (helping financially, offering stability, checking in on her), so it hurts to feel dismissed or spoken about negatively.

I suppose the young friend’s traumatic past may have something to do with this.

Whenever I try to talk about how things make me feel, she shuts it down by saying things like:

• “I’m not arguing.”
• “It’s not worth my time.”
• “I know how this ends, so I’m not entertaining it.”

She is not wrong for being hurt by this, her friend is not being very supportive.

AITA (or am I overreacting) for feeling hurt and wanting to address this?

Or should I accept this as an age/maturity difference and distance myself instead of confronting it?

No. Even if her friend has had some past trauma that may be contributing to her behavior, it does not excuse it. This person needs to set some boundaries.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this story.

This person thinks the age gap is becoming a problem.

People get cars at different times in life.

Yeah, she is too immature for this.

Her young friend is still very immature.

If you liked this post, check out this story about a woman who doesn’t want a relationship with her much-younger half-sibling, despite her parents’ urging.