Who would have thought that getting back at a colleague at work could be this entertaining!

Find out how a young kid got his revenge on a lazy employee at work.

I used theatrics to spite my bully. He was pretty dramatic about the whole thing.

When I was young man of just 18 I got a job in the Canadian oil patch. It was my first real job, it was the early 2000s and this paid $20/hr with no experience or education required, min wage was sub $6.

It was called well testing.

He explains how things worked around there…

Basically you hook up a closed pressure tank and flare stack to new oil and gas wells, then flow them gather data for the oil barons.

It’s hard work setting up and tearing down but the rest is recording gauges and computer work. Not bad for a first job. Except for stupid Gary. You work 2 man 12 hr or 4 man 24 hr crews. 1 laborer & 1 supervisor a shift.

I was paired with a mean spirited alcoholic in his mid 50s named Gary.

UH OH…

He was overweight and lazy, only helping with things too heavy to lift on my own , like 250 lb pipes. He spent his days in the trailer for the most part anyway, watching DVDs, napping and hourly typing a bit of data in to a pc.

He also liked picking on me with ‘ jokes ‘read: insults. I’m not a small man, about 6’ 1″ in heels. He was noticeably smaller, yet while not physically intimidated , back then I lacked confidence and have a baby face.

I got called stupid a lot.

When he found out I had never used a power drill he asked me ” Didn’t your Dad teach you anything?” I made the error of telling him my dad was only in my life a handful of years.

That’s INSANE!

The next time I made a mistake he quipped no wonder my Dad walked out on me.

I did call him out on that, like every other asshole alive he’d tell me I couldn’t take a joke.

We always worked far out of town in the country, I often had to eat dinner with him in small town restaurants.

Mostly bars, if we could help it. He drank a lot, could actually be personable when not at work and he was at least 2 deep.

He didn’t stop and drank every night. It quickly became the case that I drove us to work in his truck. He made $1 or $1.10 per kilometer and we could drive 100 – 350 km per day, every day for weeks. 100 miles = 160 kilometers FYI.

He was already exhausted with the job…

I got minimum wage for travel time. He was hung over most mornings, didn’t want to drive and told me he was boss. He slept like a gin bloated corpse until we got to work.

I worked with him for 3 months. 3 months of demeaning treatment and verbal abuse. I don’t react much, it’s still true everyone has their breaking point.

I was very used to bullying by then, long story, I just get silent. I also needed the job. I don’t anything, until I do and I don’t do nothing forever.

Part 1: The power of love

He knew how to work his way around this…

The first step in my quest for vengeanceAWE was remembering that it’s impossible to defeat evil with the power of love.

Part 2: The power of terror

One night while we out of town on a job, during dinner, I mentioned to Gary it’s pretty lame he sleeps most of the time while I drive his truck and he gets paid.

Maybe he ought to kick a few bucks my way for the effort. He didn’t like my suggestion he be generous. The last hinge must have crumbled because he came unglued.

More verbal abuse and I was young, it actually reduced me to angry tears. When he threatened my job, It was a bad feeling. So I resolved to at least get away from him, I’d been taking notes because I wanted a different crew anyway.

He was not backing up!

My Breaking point was achieved.

This is usually when my instinct for self-preservation diminishes and impulsive thoughts have fewer safe guards.

I wanted to go home, not revenge but serendipity delivered the next morning. Gary was once again in his travel coma and I drove us to work.

About 30 km from site, side of the highway on a pullout was a semitruck. Luck would also have it, it was running and trucker was outside his rig. I quickly formulated a plan.

He went in with a full plan!

Gary always needed to be woken with intent, so he didn’t stir when I stopped, got out and asked the friendly driver for a favor. Trucker man agreed to my terms, got back in his semi to await the signal.

Gary, blissfully sleeping off the last of his nightly whiskey also failed to notice when I maneuvered his truck. Parking it, we were nearly bumper to bumper facing the big beautiful Peterbilt .

I lit the beacon. The Truckers of Rohan answered with their own headlights. Like the horn of Helm Hammerhand sounding in the deep, the trucker hit his airhorn with amazing commitment to instilling fear.

I did my part by honking Gary’s truck gleefully in respite and screaming. I cried bloody murder at blast level and yelled “We’re gonna die!”.

That sounds so CHAOTIC!

Striking like a battalion of bombers singing a chorus of fire, the glorious cacophony lasted less than a minute.

When it hit him, Gary dented the ceiling. Good thing he’s thick as cement or that might have hurt.

He rocketed up with such force because the amount of crap he rapidly expelled into his pants kept him in debt to his own bowels until retirement. The wonderful sound of his anguished howls segued quickly into apoplexy and rage.

While coming to terms with what I had done he couldn’t correctly choke out his death threats. I reversed , peeled off before he decided to get out to make good and gave the trucker a wave.

I got about 10 m down the road when Gary felt the need to tell me he had dangerously high blood pressure and I could have killed him with a stroke.

It went on and on!

About 4 years later I went to paramedic school, so yes, in hindsight I agree with his assessment. Sucks for him at 18 I had legitimately no idea what a stroke was.

What would I even do?

Probably ignore him like they did with Stalin. I’d think he was just extra hung over, or being lazier than usual by pretending half his body was paralyzed. Ded.

I started laughing and told him he should probably calm down then. I said ” can’t you take a joke”. He kept making incomplete threats and I just couldn’t stop laughing, making it even funnier when he wouldn’t shut up.

Don’t feed it Gary. I love ugly laughing at angry people. I was a hyena. He was fighting the urge to kill me and the desire to not stroke out simultaneously.

He could not hold it in!

The struggle was real.

It took about 20 min more to get to site, that dance continued the whole time. I even asked him if that was his normal shade of red? Arriving, he ordered me to get out, said I was fired, then stomped off to go call the company owner.

Eh, whatever.

I had intermittent chuckles and smoked cigarettes while savoring my phyrric victory for the 4 hours it took the company owner to come pick me up. It was a medium sized business, about 100 employees, he was the GM as well.

They created a great story to tell everyone!

I got some details, Gary wanted to involve the cops for attempted murder, boss dissuaded him. Gary told one hell of a tale that left me looking like Satan.

So, I told him all about the necessity of Gary’s punishment on the way back to the city. He had a good chuckle about it. He was actually a decent guy, I worked for him until I went back to school.

I got moved to a different crew where I could be the lone sociopath. That’s about it. I did get some street cred with the rest of the boys at the company.

AWESOME! That was some entertainment!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this story about an employee who followed bad orders, then ruined their manager’s career for good measure.

Let’s find out what folks on Reddit think about this one.

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Somebody needs an award for writing here!