If you’re finding yourself struggling with the dynamics of a blended family, you’re not alone. Whether you’re one of the parents or one of the kids, there’s no doubt that the situation requires a lot of time, patience, and compromise before you can settle into an easy home life – and that’s not to say that there won’t be bumps in the road going forward too.

Because when you bring different parenting styles, different life experiences, and different routines and expectations together under one roof, there is plenty that changes for everyone. Kids might find that the rules are stricter from a new parent, or that the other kids have very different experiences – and now things are different and they’re having to share. Meanwhile one parent might think that the other comes down too hard on the kids, while the other is frustrated by their partner’s relaxed attitude when it comes to rules and routines.

But for the couple in this story, things were going swimmingly. After two years they were getting serious and their kids were used to spending time together. But when an incident in a restaurant led to the woman’s son getting uncomfortable, her boyfriend flipped out. Later that day, he gave her an ultimatum – but the worst of the drama wasn’t over yet.

Read on to find out what happened to them.

AITA for not taking time off work to pick up his kid?

I am a 41-year-old woman, and I have had a relationship with a 35-year-old man for about two years.

He and I were getting pretty serious for a second there, until he and my son had a disagreement.

My boyfriend has a five-year-old daughter with autism. She is mentally maybe two to three, and has a hard time in public.

Let’s see how this caused a problem in their relationship.

One day during a dinner at a restaurant, his daughter was having a meltdown and my son asked me to take her outside and calm her down, since she was upsetting other guests in the restaurant.

My boyfriend took offence to that, and took the keys to my vehicle and left with his daughter.

I figured he was going to take her home and let her calm down while I had dinner with my son.

But when I got home he was packing his and his daughter’s stuff, and asked me to chose between him or my son.

Read on to find out how she reacted to this ultimatum.

Of course I will always chose my son. I don’t feel he was in the wrong.

Well, this caused us to break it off. We have stayed friends and I am still a big part in his daughter’s life, she even calls me mom.

But this is where I might be in the wrong: all of his childcare is busy. He has to work until late today, and has no one to pick her up from school at lunch time.

So he asked me if I could do it, as he needs someone.

However, she responded in a way that he really didn’t like.

I told him that I could not take the afternoon off work to get her and watch her. He suggested that I just grab her then go back to work with her, but that is not a good idea for a couple reasons.

I work in a place that requires silence and this would be hard for her to do. She also might have a hard time dealing with all the people coming and going through the rest of the day.

She is also a very busy child and gets into anything within her reach. This stuff doesn’t bother me, but I don’t feel it’s appropriate for her.

So am I wrong for telling him I won’t take his child?

AITA?

Sure they’ve stayed friends, but the truth is that they are no longer in a relationship. If he doesn’t want to have such a relationship with this woman, then he forgoes the convenience of her taking responsibility for his kid.

Of course she still cares about the kid, it seems like they developed quite a bond, but that doesn’t mean that when he has to work late he can simply pass his kid off onto her.

The child is his. That means she is his responsibility – and it should be him leaving work early or taking the child into work, not his ex-girlfriend.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who is caught in the middle of family drama after cleaning out her hoarder father’s home.

Let’s see how folks on Reddit reacted to this.

This person agreed that it should be the child’s father who is taking her into work.

While others were horrified by the ultimatum.

Meanwhile, this Redditor drafted an appropriate response.

When someone has been in your life for a long time, you understandably care for them. Even when you let them go, you might want to maintain a friendly relationship because of all the things you’ve been through together – or, especially in this case, if you have built a good relationship with their children. This woman has clearly bonded with the guy’s daughter, and it would be sad to never see one another again. Given the child calls the woman ‘mom’, the sudden separation may also cause her some lifelong trauma if not handled properly.

But the ex-boyfriend was right, she does need to choose between her son and him. And she needs to choose her son every time – precisely because of the fact that he gave her that ultimatum. As a parent, you are always going to choose your child – not in terms of siding with them in an argument when they are obviously wrong, but if you have to cast aside your child or a new romantic partner, obviously it’s going to be the partner.

The woman made the right decision. She is standing by her son no matter what – and her loving nature is shown through her attempts to maintain a cordial relationship with her ex and her continued support of his daughter. But he needs to hear this loud and clear: she is his child, meaning that she is his responsibility. If he wanted a woman to help out with his daughter, he shouldn’t have cast his girlfriend aside over one small drama. However, if that is all that he really wanted her for, perhaps he should hire a nanny instead.