When a friend is coming to your city for a visit (with her boyfriend) it can be nice to see them while they are in the area.

What would you do if your friend was coming to visit and she asked if they could stay in your very small apartment while they were in town for a week?

That is what happened to the student in this story, and after reluctantly she said that they could, her friend had the nerve to expect that she and her boyfriend would get her bed and she would sleep on the couch. When her friend said that, this person quickly shot that idea down, and now her friend is canceling the whole trip.

AITA for refusing to let my best friend use my apartment and making her feel bad?

I (22F) am currently staying in my hometown with my parents for the holidays. I am a college student so I usually live alone in an one-room flat.

She has some good reasons to not want them staying in her apartment.

My best friend Lily (22F) recently contacted me because she and her boyfriend (27M) wanted to spend a few days in the city I usually live in to celebrate the new year.

She asked me if she could crash at my place — I wasn’t thrilled because 1) I have never met her bf and living an entire week with a man I’ve never met is not my cup of tea (I have social anxiety), and 2) the dates she wanted to come clashed with my back-to-college week, so I was going to be tired and anxious.

I have a feeling that she is going to regret telling her friend that they could stay.

However, I live in a very expensive city and I didn’t want to tell her to get a hotel or a BnB, so I agreed. Important detail: my apartment is a studio flat, and even though it’s rather big for what you can get in my city, I only have a double bed and a very small, uncomfortable couch on which you can barely sit two people.

She thanked me, and then said: “So what are you going to do?”.

What is she talking about? There is no way she expects to not just be able to stay in the apartment, but to get the bed too.

I asked her what she meant by that and she said : “Well, are you going to sleep on the couch or are you going to your friend’s?”.

I was dumbfounded, because I was agreeing to let her crash at my place, and she just assumed I would give them my bed (or even my entire studio for themselves) for an entire week.

She is already going out of her way to host them, there is no way she should also give up her own bed.

As I’ve said, my couch is utterly uncomfortable (and she knows it) and my friends live in very small apartments— I can’t crash at their place for an entire week.

I asked her if she was joking and she said, “No? Where do you expect my boyfriend to sleep if you sleep with me in the bed?”.

Maybe she said it a bit rudely, but I certainly can’t blame her for that. What her friend is asking for is insane.

I told her (perhaps bluntly) that this wasn’t really my problem since SHE asked me to crash at my place and she knows how my studio is— I expected her to think this through.

She answered, “Ok never mind, we’re just going to cancel our trip.”

Honestly, I would be relieved at this point.

I didn’t respond right away because I was still a bit taken aback, and I thought this was the end of it.

However, she sent me another text a bit later saying I made her cry because she felt my message was full of malice and spitefulness, that she just took on offers that I made (where I indeed said SHE was welcome to crash at my place, but obviously bringing more people with her would cause logistical issues + I never offered to just leave my apartment whenever she needed a room for her and her boyfriend).

Her friend seems overly sensitive. Even if she was a bit blunt, it was only because her friend had unreasonable expectations.

And that it was mean of me to make her seem like she was ill-mannered for asking when it was my offer to begin with.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who was stunned when her friends finally admitted the reason for their falling out.

I simply answered that I never made such an offer, that it was probably a misunderstanding but that I felt that simply assuming that I was going to sleep on the couch/leave my studio during my back-to-college week, and just letting me choose between these two options was a bit rude nonetheless.

Hopefully this was just a miscommunication and they can work things out.

However, I feel bad since she’s my best friend and I like her, and perhaps I overreacted.

AITA?

The only way she is in the wrong here is if she was more than just blunt when she told her friend that it wasn’t her problem. She did acknowledge that she may have been, so if that is the case, she should apologize. Regardless, however, there is no way that she should let her friend and boyfriend stay at the apartment anymore.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say.

Set her up with an air mattress if they want. Even that would be very generous.

She really doesn’t have the room for guests, and certainly should not give up her own bedroom. This visit just isn’t going to work out.

You can’t judge an entire friendship based off on one interaction. What she did was definitely wrong though.

It is good that she refused to give in to the unreasonable expectations.

This person says that she isn’t a good friend. I don’t know if that is true, but she was acting very entitled for sure.

Her expectations were entirely unreasonable and it is good that she was told no. That being said, maybe the way she said it was a little harsh, but it is hard to say. At the end of the day, she doesn’t owe her friend a place to stay, so maybe it is best that the trip is cancelled.